I was aiming that by May 4th 2009,... as I turn 40, I would be back on my feet to make a spectacular comeback by leaping into action and creating a storm in KL. But as the first half of the year passed by, ever so quickly with chaos and continued war, disasters, recession, the world celebrating Barack Obama, political turmoil in calm and harmonious 1 Malaysia, our new Prime Minister,... and the second half is fast moving towards the end of the year, I see more poverty in the news, the tsunami, earth quake and typhoon disasters, H1N1 Flu, the slain lembu, and the world mourning over the lost of MJ, dance losing Merce and Pina, film industry losing Yasmin Ahmad? I am speechless, motionless - I could not find any reason to go on stage, in a black box with light and effects, to present .... intellectual, abstract-lah, neopop, political-lah, serious dance, exclusive high art revolutionary dance -kah... samada modern, post-modern or avant garde ..... must be traditional Melayu dance and making a dance that must represent 1 Malaysia. POoh. ... kiri pooh kanan, bomoh cure and orang masuk rasuk dance. Dance to talk about oneself and ones past. I found it an aimless and empty work task. What was most important to me is whether,
I CAN make A CHANGE and help others through my dance, can I heal the sick, can I save the dying, can I cure and protect ...... can my dance eradicate poverty, how about the babies, .....
or can I make people see beyond their anger, fear and discrimination ..... can I ease the angry earth?
what can i do to make a difference? will i end up dying before i achieve all this? Its a whole lot of work to. So ambitious, yet
Speechless, Motionless. I am 40, i have a lifetime of dance to do and yet so little time to impact a change. Question 40, Where should I StART?
Looking back i started the year after Opera Pasar, working with Gunild Symes of Norden Dance Theater with two Royal Danish Ballet dancers in a Ballet Dance Film project in Copenhagen, followed by The Light Show in KL, Fly Jentayu Fly at the International Women's Day and DaD Phase 1 A Pilot Project for Inclusive Creative Arts Program. And then off to Blind Spot for the Kobenhavn International Theater Metropolis Biennale, Un-Cut Malaysian Art Festival in Copenhagen and Mabok at the Danish Film Institute for a Malaysian Evening, with the Malaysian Danish Association.
And out of all the full year of work, dancing with the children of the shelter home at Shan and Ramakrishna, the Special Need kids, and my typical kids from Ombak Rentak and the possibility to involve my family and children, though so challenging, have touched my heart as well as my artistic passion. So this is it. This will be my second wind in life and art, and so, even how little I can help to make a change, here is where I will StART or continue, at least before i end 40 and move on to 41 ........ and i don't intend to finish just there. As I have more to outreach ......... more than my heart and spirit can travel in one leap. But if I can move, spark and inspire children to share, integrate, to love, to care, protect and have empathy, to help, to be aware, to understand and have tolerance, to activate and support, to be responsible, and more too many. To become the wiser adults of the future. Question Post40,.... do I have more than a lifetime to achieve all this? All I have to say is, Insyaallah.
Let me start by sharing with you the light show we made in April 09. Not so helpful to the welfare of the society but at least it is about up-cycling and re-using thrash for light design - or click on related bloggers above page left;
The Light Show April 09