AIDA REDZA - A SHAKTI DANCES ALONE

Going down Memory Lane with: Destinies of Flowers at Theaterworks Singapore

2011-01-05T21:07:00.000-08:00

Down Memory lane with Search : Hamlet, Theaterworks Singapore and Face to Face Produktion Denmark

2011-01-05T21:06:00.000-08:00

Down memory lane with Lear - TheaterWorks Singapore and Japan Foundation

2011-01-05T21:05:00.000-08:00

Goodbye 2010, hello 2011 with the River Art Project

2010-12-30T16:48:00.000-08:00

Looking forward to welcoming the RIVER ART PRoject with Lisa Foo and Dr Tan Sooi Beng produced by Ombak-Ombak Arts Studio - with great team and supporters Alex Yong, Lim Chung Wei, Hil Ramli and Izzard. We are still in the early creative stage of process. The team will grow as we develop the project further.

REFLECTION @ Melaka Art and Performance Festival, Nov 2010

from Lisa Foo at

http://lfss-create.blogspot.com

A collaborative process by Lisa Foo & Aida Redza, the initiation of our River Project in 2011.

Performed by Aida Redza and Hilyati Ramli.

Light installations constructed of recycled plastic bottles & plastic bags by Lisa Foo. Reflecting the amount of plastics thrown into the river that could be turned into a delightful play of lights.

"Imagine flower reflections dancing on the surface of water,

oh, what a delight it would be"

Reflections is a performance installation of dance and light, deeply rooted in the natural environment and relying on a 'basic state' of materials and trash, constructed around a range of sounds and sight that reflects the performance site - the river as a magical space of play and transformation. The installation will lead the spectator to the heart of generous visual, kinetic and auditory ambiances that are modest, sensorial, simple and contemplative.

More info on MAP at MAP10

http://lfss-create.blogspot.com/

ON! Georgetown a Fringe Live - July 2010

2010-08-14T12:15:00.000-07:00

Pictures from ON! Georgetown a Fringe Live on the move event by PEARL (Penang Arts Link) organized with ordinary and everyday people - July 2010.

ON! Georgetown was a street happening in a moving trail where performers lead the audience through selected parts of public and semi-public streets on the outskirts of city center to tap on the energy, behavior and playfulness of Georgetown street life! Design by the local Penang Artists in their share and own initiative to put a street spotlight ON! Georgetown in conjunction with the Georgetown Festival though it was not part of the GT Festival - ON! Georgetown was celebrated successfully by semua.

To read more check out http://capturingpenang.blogspot.com/2010/08/moving-play.html

The starting point was from Lebuh Acheh - through Carnovan Street, moving along parts of Lebuh Kimberley and end at Lebuh Tek Soon.

Dancing, Playing, Storytelling - leaping into action - on the streets, with people for people. celebrating georgetown must involve everyone!

Thank you to all the photographers who have contributed below;

Allspire Photography, Phin Oswald, Yewchin, Doris Lee, Queen, Okui and many more!!

running and riding fast with the wind, chasing after DaD

2010-08-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

not sure why, i am back ... but i am. Its been 9 months since my last post, 8 months after dad's passing in Nov 2009. As i have mentioned before, my art has a tendency of predicting the future. Call it whatever you want,... i feel it is a gift, and yet this gift - does hurt after. When i am conscious and not in the moment of my work and my state of being is not involved in the reality of dream dance,... i can never forsee this messages that reaches out to me within my art. But when i am deep and absorbed in something i feel so passionate about and taken away by the flow .. the angin, I do realise that the signs i am creating,... are actually paving out - the days of what may come to be ... and

though i wish and i wish so hard that - i could read those signs ahead of time,... so that i could also undo what my vision predicts ... i guess life is not that easy.

DaD - dream a dream, was a project in April 2009, which i went full force with young people of different needs and abilities , believing that i could heal ... i could get young people to integrate - to feel included ... to be touched and affected and to provide them the joy and pleasures of bonding and belonging.

But instead of listening, what my craft was telling me,.... which was (only now i realize) was to give more attention to the first man that i love - my dad - to bond and to whom i should be focusing on helping to heal. If only i had the healing hands and power,... that i wish to believe i have through my work and art.

.... could i have saved dad?

now,....i am back .. .and attempting to be back again on my blog, and so i will begin this year 2010 in AUGUST. flying running through , so that i can chase after the lost ....

and hopefully,... in this fast ride,... i can capture some prediction, of how I could bring that lost, back to life,..... by allowing my self to let go, but yet cherishing his memory ...

I miss you dad. I dedicate my work and passion in loving memory of you. (Al-Fatihah)

pictures by Phin Oswald

It has taken me this long ............... welcome back aida!!!

Summer in Copenhagen with MovingCollaboratorium: Un-Cut09 and Site-Specific Project with Jay Pather

2009-10-13T21:12:00.000-07:00

Pictures by Torben Huss, Blind Spot, Metropolis Biennale, Kobenhavn International Theatre, Aug 2009

Above - Aida Redza in Blind Spot. A work with Jay Pather and the company in Copenhagen: Witness a fusion of ritual with real life and the majestic with the minimal in a staged dance pilgrimage from the outer Nørrebro to the sanctuary of the inner city.

eleven dancers from different cultures map the psychological and emotional meeting ground amongst diverse individuals caught in personal moments. Five especially made performances take place at sites along Nørrebrogade, all the way to the centre of the city.

Please visit http://www.artthrob.co.za/Reviews/Review-of-Body-of-Evidence-by-Peter-Machen-at-The-Playhouse.aspx to read interview of Jay Pather.

Below a one week moving collaboratorium with 3 wonderful artist friend Rosa Isaldur, Anamet Magven and Raymond Roa for the UnCut Malaysia Arts Festival produced by Jambatan - Copenhagen (the first Malaysian artist network in DK).Along with us , in the process is our two malaysian artists amir zainorin and fathul.

Malaysia UnCut Festival, Copenhagen August 2009

My experience in collaborative work;
In my opinion, a collaborative process in the organizing, managing and executing of a project/program, is easier said than done. Most commonly a collaborative work in an artistic environment for example, especially in the ones that I have been involved with so far directed by others, is still very much dictated by the pyramid function where the collective artists are working towards a theme, that is suggested and directed by the Artistic Director, or the initiator of the project. The collective artists shares ideas, explore in a studio base type work, or on the ground or site with direct contact and hands on interaction/contact improv, among each other in developing conceptual ideas, narratives and the kinetic movement form of the theme given.

With the Artistic Director inspiring the collaborators, they select and string this collective ideas together to serve a larger structure. This can be executed quite smoothly and easy without hiccups when the collaborative group work is actually supported with the possibility of spending very much time not only working but actually 'living' if you can say it that way,.. on an expedition together. Sharing not only choreographic knowledge and ideas, but actually learning emotionally, spiritually and culturally the differences and similarities of each others ethos, philosophy and way of living of the other by literally going on a physical expedition together.

In a collaborative process where a group of independent artists who are very new to each other (especially in the kind of collaboratorium that i am interested in), artists who come together to identify and recognize new possibilities, set new challenges, methodology without clear definition and understanding of leadership and role and responsibility,from each artists own cultural frame and background, may actually stir the collaborative process into a state of chaos, where misunderstandings and conflicts, would arise. Rather than being empowered, some individuals may opt to play a non-active role. As there are blind or grey areas where the gaps of understanding of our cultural, personal and social differences, group dynamics is misinterpreted and judged with little tolerance and sensitivity towards the other. And this can happen at all levels of discussion and communication in an individual or group relationship of a collaborative work, even how open and tolerant we think we are. Just establishing a common vision, and questions to inspire more thoughts and take of the vision among a group of new collaborators ... definitely will create collisions, and we should always be prepared to encounter this problematic areas and find the best and timely action to establish solutions to continue moving forward rather than being caught in trying to resolve and attempting to create a functional system or work strategy of a perfect collaboration. Because there isn't a one way to a perfect collaboration. Its always a trial and error, and about feeling and sensing each other on ground level.

And that is why a collaborative process in creating a project/program - starting with a whole new set of collective artists, to share a common vision could be a failure if communication, practice and sharing does not go beyond studio work, and only rely on discussion and debate. Even though i am stressing that collaborations must be conducted on the systems of physical motion and creative action and exchange, a complete collaboration must be inspired by a central key figure who must be open and willing to share the collaborative process rather than dictate its direction. And definitely a deeper bonding among the collaborators is highly encouraged. I do not believe in just coming together to discuss a collaboration, and leave when the 9 - 5 clock-in time is over. A collaboration must or try to be as tight and involved as a whole journey like a pilgrimage together. Too difficult in this modern times isn't it? When every individual has their own daily agenda's, family commitment, full time jobs ..... so on and so forth.

Moving on, although I have always been keen to work with dance artists and performers from different cultures and background but actually this days am preferring to be inspired by collaborative work with artists from different interdisciplinary mediums. I find that it makes the work deeper with multiple layers of meaning, context and juxtaposing design in performance states and visual input. And providing many angles and entry point into the subject that is questioned when making cross culture collaboration such as power, identity, territory, differences, displacement, hope and memory. As the subject naturally hits the collaborators face on with issues they may encounter and confront when working towards establishing one plural artistic agreement among so many.

I am also preferring site-specific work as it is not only challenging, especially when the sites are not ours. Meaning we are not familiar to the area, the history - story of the site, the temperament of the people living, occupying, residing the site etc. But mainly challenges us the collaborators to identify our status in relation to the environment and the people of the area. For example, are we the immigrants - or the foreigners, or are we representing the people and the stories of the site. The whole devise process where the dramaturgy of the choreography has to be researched in relation to the background of the space and symbolic significance of the site. I prefer that the site-specific work goes beyond using the site for its architectural design and landscape, but also includes us performers/collaborators working with the daily happenings of that surrounding to discover a kind of chance happening event or situations created from researching the daily ritual, rhythm, repetition of living, working - story of the people -(for example) and that can further contribute to our search to highlight the subject of identity, or to question the sense of belonging of the community, or to bring out/highlight the idea of displacement of the culture of the site.

I am today dealing in my daily day and life on issues of immigration - trying to be both a Malaysian - mother role model and citizen, and at the same time shaping myself to be a responsible and a correct foreign resident in Copenhagen - who is nonetheless still seen as a 'Thai' immigrant who latches on like a parasite on her Danish husband as means to receive social rights and privileges that is offered to the euro-Danes. It is so awful, but that is how they perceive the asian other. I am learning ways to raise my son, marjaan so that he will not have to face an identity crisis of being born Danish Malaysian - and yet one day may find himself not belonging at all to either one. More about Displacement - my experiences and struggles in Syariah Courts, displacement when my husband has to attend a muslim syukor ceremony of his son - where he meets the whole community of muslim folk from the mosque, and is taught how to sedekah into the pockets of the praying men. A stranger among the crowd and such a cultural shock for him, but he learns to adapt and accept this new situations whole heartedly. The memory we leave when we move on, as footprints, or good and bad memory that lingers as we reminisce how much we long for the life we cannot have or wish to have, or even regret for the decisions we have made. My observation and experiences are not just about myself but of people ... including friends and family who have in their little corners of their world, subjected to different issues of immigration, identity, displacement, and the need to wipe out memory or make new ones. Those who seek asylum, those who find illegal ways of crossing borders, those who have to move from home to be able to have sex change and live an open new life, those who wish to convert and announce themselves no longer Islam,.... and more. I gaze and observe into their lives and all others who are busy moving and adapting from one home to another,... sheltering temporarily or on the run.
These issues are so present in our lives today. We are all in a state of transit in some ways or another,.... in dealing with travel, in marriage, in child raising, in job searching and survival, in finding peace and new home. And how open are we in accepting others, in learning and understanding others who face or experience this similar stories, who are different from us. How do we respond, or even confront these happenings. Where do we begin as artists to express them, especially in a non-verbal way. Is it just by a touch of a hand, a gesture of the eye, a narrative statement. How could we as collaborators be a voice to express the changes, the situations, the integration and disintegration, satisfaction and dissatisfaction of people and the living - if we ourselves cannot understand the background from where each of us come from and where others come from. I wish to explore how we could work towards zooming in into specifics to express this thoughts by sharing our body intelligence and intuition collaboratively. As we all know only talk can cause a lot of petty arguments and quarrels as each one of us have our own individual mind, opinion and perception when we begin to even speak. It will take us nowhere, if we forget to learn how to share in the most basic way. Sensing, Moving and non-verbal communication living together - and making mind, spirit and senses accessible to all and the other.

Collaborations excite me, cause it makes us see and experience, understand and appreciate .... to have tolerance and respect for the other and their choices. And in this regards, not just a collaboration where other artistic mediums serve the dance. But where all mediums are sharing importance in designing and structuring the skeleton of a work.I believe that we all in some way or another need to incorporate or reflect on the device process of a typical artistic collaboration, in our daily life ... and not just leave it for the artists or corporate sectors to use it for their artistic or monopolizing intentions. Especially this days when there are so much problems arising. Now as I am writing and adding additional notes, currently today, in Jan 2010 - what with the burning of the churches over the disagreement of one name. It is so strange as we are all human, made from the same earth, living and cohabiting on the same line and borders of existence. I propose that the National Consultative Council on Religious Harmony in Malaysia should execute programs or meets among all institutions or centers of faith to implement physical contact and collaborative exercise or camps among themselves and later to include their followers... as a pioneer to confront this problem of misunderstanding and narrow- mindedness. Not just confront the issue with endless debate and discussions. Move each other, touch ... and feel is another alternative approach to trigger sharing. Possibly this could break down the walls we are creating that separates us from the other in the name of God. It is not just about choreographic intention of a collaboration, but the principle and process of collective, non verbal collaboration which will enable us to understand, learn and appreciate each other better.

My personal input, in general into a collaborative work has always include or deal with issues on taboo, and censorship, and violation that is done against a freedom of expression and will. This is expressed by experimenting or bringing in objects or the use of props - to provoke or evoke the different state of senses - sense of smell, and touch for example. I try to include my skills in working with symbolic and metaphoric use of objects/props as a method to share with others. I lspend more time in creating a group work collaboratively by conducting an open exercise- half an hour of non talking, body to body breathing and weight sharing in a group, as its always a challenging feat be it if you are the composer, the visual artist,....everyone gets on the floor together.

Today I prefer this instead of making my individual work - which i have been busy with for the past few years. But of course it is not a 'cannot do'. I have been doing mostly solo works since 2002 and i am too comfortable performing solo and prefer retreating into my comfort zone - or safe space - which is into myself and into my own cultural body. I am sure every one does prefer this too. But if we can push and drive the individual work into an arena where we are not comfortable, and having to deal with this discomfort like for example - to take us out of our comfort zone and out into meeting people of different needs, age or social status. For example limiting us or restricting us from going back into the 'dance' form that we have learned over the years. Or back into 'my own' rebellious dramatics type of responses to the outside environment. It would be a good way as an exercise for collaborators to experience together this moment of sitting still and studying, and learning of people,.. becoming the observer, learning, listening and allowing people, space and time to shape and move us, rather than we always dictating our energy to shape the other in their spaces. That could be an area where I would like as a collaborator to move towards. Not to be rushed by time or by the expectations of others due to the need to create something or to successfully arrive with a result. But instead to take ownership to our right and freedom of choice and opinion and to allow ourselves to be heard and not hidden, yet tolerant enough to accept that sometimes agreeing to disagree is no harm. But stop and put an end when ego, pride and prejudices arises and when we begin to react or to create respond aggressively and childishly. If we can attempt this through art ..... why are we unable to instill this in reality - in the community?

I hope my discussions above are relevant, and shared some light for readers a brief view on my perception and working style in a collaborative environment especially on the vision i had while making the two moving collaboration work that i was involved in over the summer in copenhagen. May be it did not entirely turn out the way i wanted it to be, but then again, it was and always be a learning process of trial and error. Now, if only politicians and those sitting on the highest seat of the pyramid and organization work chart could reflect on 'the physical process of collaborations' and use our methods of 'viewing and learning from the other side',... it could in a longer run be the best approach to create the 1 Malaysia that we really wish for. Where there are No differences and all beings are equal in this one land. Sharing...... is the keyword in my opinion, for a good collaboration. and this i believe is the exact keyword necessary for a harmonious and happy living.

Emphasise positive personal change

2009-10-06T21:04:00.000-07:00

Kisi, a choreography by Kent Tan. At Suara Gerak, produced by Ombak-Ombak Arts Studio, facilitated by Aida Redza. Oct 2009

Hui-ern Ng at Suara Gerak - A Choreographer's Workshop. Choreography by Kat Chua. Produced by Ombak-Ombak Arts Studio and facilitated by Aida Redza. Oct 2009

Pictures by Lim Chuin Nian.

at Suara Gerak someone said '.... the feeling is so negative. Why does everyone like to create such negative energy in dance. why suffering, and self inflicting pain, death?' after watching works by Kat and Kent at Suara Gerak, A Choreographer's Workshop Series 1 held at Panggung Sasaran, USM Penang. I too noticed that my two young students, Nat and Ash looked afraid as though they had just watched a horror movie. '.... do you like the dance? Or do you understand? Would you like to be in it?' I asked. They replied '....no! it looks scary, and we don't understand', almost immediately.

All I have to say is that in a world that tends to chaos, in a state of not knowing and full of uncertainties, it often seems that the only right way to improve and find peace is to make things orderly. However when there is too much order, that could create more problems. So to establish this balance between order and chaos to find peace, harmony and transcendence,... we must confront this two polar of opposites before we attain balance. A balance between Dark and light, negative and positive, soft and hard, male and female, order and chaos. Before we need to find order, we have to experience chaos, and before chaos there is order. Just as Muhammad prescribes, young before old, rich before poor. The best part of our lifetime is when we allow ourselves to find the joy of experiencing the in between.

So my best advice to the two choreographers in Suara Gerak, is that now their works have strongly express their darkness and disorder. Grasping for light, the choreography seek for some order and the light ahead of them. Their next journey into their choreography is to identify this light that they themselves can visualize and be their own creators, which beckons new complications, and yet this clash and the struggle between chaos in order and order in chaos, can they meet the resolution by embodying the calmness and transcendence of evoking the in between. And not remaining in the extreme ends.

While we are on this subject, I would like to share this article and my agreement in the concern raised by the writer.

Dated 2 months ago but still relevant.
An article/comment by Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf on Kartika's case I read in July on the Star Online.

Wednesday July 29, 2009

Emphasise positive personal change
COMMENT By IMAM FEISAL ABDUL RAUF

Malaysian Syariah authorities should reconsider the law on consuming alcohol, which is described in the Quran in the mildest language of prohibition.
ON July 20, the Pahang Syariah High Court sentenced part-time model Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarnor, 32, to a RM5,000 fine and six lashes of the rotan for drinking beer.
No doubt the court has the jurisdiction to impose such a sentence as provided by the law.
Some have questioned the appropriateness of the sentence of whipping given that the court has discretion to impose a mixture of fine, imprisonment and binding Kartika over for good behaviour for a certain period, or just admonish her.
Others have questioned the appropriateness based on the legitimate argument that the Syariah holds Muslims responsible for their actions that result in negative opinions of Islam.
A news item like this certainly presents Islam and Malaysia negatively on the international stage.
But I would urge the Malaysian Syariah authorities to seriously reconsider the Syariah basis of this law on the following Syariah grounds:
Neither the Quran nor the Hadith invokes a penalty for alcohol consumption. The sin of consuming alcohol is described in the Quran in the mildest language of prohibition.
When it comes to dietary laws, the Quran commands the believers in Sura 5:3: “forbidden (hurrimat) to you is the dead animal, loose blood, and the flesh of the pig”.
The 90th verse of the same Sura cautions the believers that “wine, gambling, etc, are an impurity so avoid them (fa-jtanibuh)”.
Some legal scholars suggest that the divine command ijtinab, to avoid something, is milder language than tahrim, prohibition.
A Muslim consuming a glass of wine with a pork chop commits a more serious offence in eating pork; yet as there is no Quran or Hadith penalty for consuming pork, there is also none for alcohol consumption.
The question then is how did the penalty for alcohol consumption come about?
It occurred during the time of the second Caliph Umar b. al-Khattab. There was a companion of the Prophet (sahabi) who had fought on the Prophet’s side in his battles.
A heavy drinker, he would walk the streets of Madina drunk at night and loudly shout scandalous things about people. The inhabitants of Madina complained, and Umar formed a committee to decide what to do.
Imam Ali, based on the man having committed slander, suggested the penalty for slander, whose maximum penalty is 80 lashes.
Since that time, this has been considered the maximum penalty for alcohol consumption, based on utilising the Syariah concept of ta`zir (deterrence).
I disagree with this being the mandatory sentence for the offence of wine consumption, because it is the maximum sentence for another, separate offence – slander – albeit committed under the influence of alcohol.
Had the man just fallen on the street in a stupor and suffered a terrible hangover without having hurt anyone, no punishment would have been established.
Had cars existed then and had he run his car over some pedestrians and killed them, should we invoke ta`zir now and have a penalty for alcohol consumption equal to that of accidental manslaughter?
There are additional arguments we can marshal from the Quran and Hadith. The Quran repeatedly urges Muslims to forgive those who wrong them, even for slander and manslaughter!
When the Prophet Mohamed’s wife Aisha was wrongly accused of having committed adultery, her father Abu Bakr sought to have the penalty of libel meted against one of his employees who had slandered her.
God then revealed verse 24:22, urging the believers to pardon and forgive those who have wronged them, so that God would forgive them their own sins.
But I see no evidence that Kartika wronged anybody after drinking beer.
Verse 4:92 gives the penalty for a Muslim accidentally killing another as freeing a slave and paying compensation to the victim’s family – unless the family forgoes compensation and forgives the offender.
And if the defendant can’t afford to pay, then he should fast for two consecutive months. Accidental homicide is a much greater sin than alcohol consumption; yet the Quran suggests that the victim’s family would do well to forgive the offender, and the penalty here is not jail time or corporal punishment, but a two-month fast.
The Quranic and Prophetic teachings are about forgiveness, compassion and positive personal transformation. Sura 48:29 describes Prophet Mohamed’s companions as “firm against unbelievers and compassionate to themselves”, and this is what I urge the Malaysian authorities to exemplify: show compassion to Kartika and forgive her.
But if the Pahang Syariah court insists on establishing a penalty for the mere consumption of alcohol, why not replace the current law – a maximum penalty of a RM5,000 fine and six lashes of the rotan – with spending RM5,000 on feeding the poor and fasting for six days?
Wouldn’t that be more in keeping with the letter and spirit of the Quran and the Prophetic Sunnah?
Were this the case, I have a hunch that many Malaysians who imbibe may voluntarily mete such a “penalty” on themselves – to the benefit of the poor, to the benefit of their own spiritual progress and standing before God on Judgment Day, and to the benefit of the Malaysian Syariah Court’s, Islam’s and Malaysia’s image on the international stage.

> Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf is the Chairman of the Cordoba Initiative, an international organisation devoted to improving West-Muslim world relations, and author of “Islam, A Sacred Law, What Every Muslim Should know about the Shariah”.

A Curious Dreamer. Dulu, Kini dan Akan Datang

2009-09-27T05:12:00.000-07:00

OMBAK-OMBAK turun menurun Storm In A Box

My journey into researching Dreams as a movement and performance study began as I started exploring and creating solo works. Such as Berkumandangnya Qasidah, Stirrings and Feast of Fools. At that period of time while I was absorbed in creating those works, I was not at all conscious that my creative process were indirectly a kind of predictive journey symbolizing signs of what was coming (akan datang) - the future happenings that were going to take place in my future. As the years passed by, and as I reflected and gazed back into time, I realize that the emotional and creative pre-experiencing and process of dramatizing my inner thoughts and dreams into my solo performances, was not only an accidental and unconscious journey that was telling me what lies ahead, but it was also coincidentally shadowing and shaping out the chapters of my life. As though offering clues of the coming challenges that I will have to endure towards learning and discovering balance and harmony. It may sound totally absurd to you. And I am not at all suggesting that I am a fortune teller or a clairvoyance through my artistic work. And I am not able to explain nor wish to share with you what were the choreographic signs and codes that I chose to use, that could convince me or you to believe my theory today - as I am myself trying to codify the secrets of performance and a performer's state of being. Even though at the time of creation - I was probably not knowing what the future holds or that I was actually weaving my future through my dances. I was in the moment of creative process, or what performance theories refer to as an artistic experience of 'dream-travel'. When I look back at the choreographies, some essence of it was realized. For example, Stirrings (created in 2002), and within a year after creating it. I found myself the asian washer woman, working in homes, cleaning to survive and provide myself and my daughter money - as we were cut off from any financial help when I began to plead for separation and divorce. And years after, I experienced in my life the 'mahsuri tragedy', that was the very root of my choreography in Feast of Fools - Copenhagen version (2003) - (of course in reality minus the hukum mati, the sumpah and death). My tragedy was not as catastrophic as Mahsuri, but even so it was almost as dramatic. I made it through a struggle for divorce, amidst accusations and attempts to slander me and my role as the wife, and as a mother to my daughter (which is regretfully a common way for most divorced man, regardless of religion and race - to continue digging, accusing or find every little fault of mothers, even if they have to lie or exaggerate every detail that could make the mother look bad to use it against her so as to gain absolute custody, and cut her from her rights to share in the care and upbringing of her children).

The choreography Feast of Fool focuses on how a woman continues to fight to defend the truth despite the lies, the taboos, the accusations(fitnah) that are made against her by evoking and awakening the rebellious power within her.

Through my work in Berkumandangnya Qasidah, I expressed a being holding on to her faith, through hardships, struggles and challenges, the being has faith in Allah, and by believing, with wings in hand,... the being continues on to recite the Dua Kalimah Syahadah seeking for the rightful path towards transcendence.

And many years after, today I find myself standing strong and still, and in perfect balance - still living and still dream working. Observing my past works and tracing back the path I have chosen to take in life, has given me the opportunity to be grateful and thankful for having this third eye, to reflect on my creative works that opens up a dimension within me to receive a revelation or even to stir a revolution........ allowing me to embody courage, joy and passion of recovery and change.

Many years after those works were created and performed (dulu), it has inspired me further to dwell and investigate research on the power of dreams. Dream as a message from our unconscious self expressed in codes. Dreams as our inner wishes and hopes for the present (kini) and the future (akan datang), if you can dream, you can do. And dreams as a wish-fulfillment, that can lead to the creative integration of the personality ... a spiritual healing, a transcendence and change. So there I was and will always be, manifesting and pursuing my dreams as well as help others. I was curious if I could use this theory of dream travel, dream power, dream journey through the practice of dance/creative arts as a way to outreach individuals and community, to provide all people regardless of race, religion, age, status, needs and abilities, a platform to unlock God's potential to shape positive social integration, spirituality, balanced health and mental wellness.

I continued walking through the years from 2002 with curiosity - eager to seize on making sense and impressions of dreams in dance, as a magical space and moment, a state of the human journey seeking, struggling and grasping the beautiful sublime of the essence and being, looking for heaven (syurga) or wherever the destination of our dream that God is leading us to and pointing us towards. Expressing human courage and passion to work, fight and strive through the unknown and the living. With that, Dream Trilogy was created between 2004 - 2006 at Codarts in Rotterdam to test drive my theory, Jadi-Jadian was inspired from this curiosity. 7 woman dreaming, each one narrating their journey towards finding the warrior or hero within them. I was exploring Carl Jung's theory;

that everyone in the world is born with the same basic subconscious model of what a "hero" is, or a "mentor" or a "quest," and that's why people who don't even speak the same language can enjoy the same stories.

Jung developed his idea of archetypes mostly as a way of finding meaning within the dreams and visions of the mentally ill: if a person believes they are being followed by a giant apple pie, it's difficult to make sense of how to help them. But if the giant apple pie can be understood to represent that person's shadow, the embodiment of all their fears, then the psychotherapist can help guide them through that fear, just as Yoda guided Luke on Dagoba. STAR WARS - The hero's journey. If you think of a person as a computer and our bodies as "hardware," language and culture seem to be the "software." Deeper still, and apparently common to all homo sapians, is a sort of built-in "operating system" which interprets the world by sorting people, places, things and experiences into archetypes.

I wanted the opportunity of conducting the Trilogy as a built-in operating system. Jadi-Jadian was an attempt to discovering the archetypes in movement within the 7 woman's dream, and how in a group process could use the authentic and metaphoric elements of the movement to transcend ourselves from the Wounded-Healer Paradigm, by associating ourselves with the hero journey of these archetypes. A process I found that I could use on the performers to lead them towards making a dream dance and choreography as a performance 'therapeutic' experience not only for themselves but hopefully for the audience too. It was my first attempt to create a group dance with dancers since my last group work was created with Shakti Dances. And a year later, followed by Guna-Guna 2005. Turun - Menurun 2008 was to be the end of the Trilogy,... but till today I am still convinced that Turun - Menurun that was created for Storm In A Box - A dance installation produced by Ombak-Ombak has a further journey to take, and what was made was only a skeleton since there was a dateline for production. The choreography needed more in-depth study and time for me to gaze and reflect on a shared dream - of the people I work with for the choreography. And I have yet to continue seeking how to apply this dream process with the performers to complete and make a final closure of the research. I am also eager to embark on a different journey with Dream Trilogy as a process of compiling Jadi-Jadian, Guna-Guna and Turun-Menurun into a choreographic work that promotes inclusion, and eventually a celebration of shared dreams and hopes for a new community of dance expressing power, identity and belonging - that stirs a change to include everyone, and where each and every person is counted.

Reflecting on my early days of solo choreography, I as the Shakti warrior, the Urban Shaman inspiring a group and community,.... a dream worker and activist,.. I will continue holding on to the Senoi Tribe principles of dream theory. That we, can learn to control our dreams to reduce fear and increase pleasure and passion,... that dreams can be shaped and controlled through positive group experience as a source of wisdom and personal growth and with hope for positive transformation. And so I will continue dreaming and for this year in April 2009, I initiated and embarked myself into another Dream project, and this time produced by BOLD in collaboration with Disted-Stamford Penang. We had on our team great creative friends and Play Therapist Dr. Tan Liok Ee, Priscilla Ho, Leong Min See and the facilitators Ho Sheau Fung, Junita Batubara, Yasu, M.Hanif, Ni'sya, Aida Redza, Kang Hooi Keng, Joie Koo, Doris Lee, Eng Hee Ling and not forgetting Ombak-Ombak Lee and Advising Consultant Alex Chew, in producing Dream A Dream (DaD) PHASE 1 Pilot project - a creative process program that promotes inclusive arts among young children of different needs and abilities.

I dedicated this DaD proposal and initiation of the program through BOLD as a platform for voicing children's hope for all parents, teachers and guardians, to instill tolerance, understanding, compassion, love and joy towards children's emotional, physical, creative and spiritual needs,. Focusing on father's to work hand in hand with mothers and carers, to provide and fulfill children's wishes and dreams for a balanced, safe, peaceful and complete living that they deserve.

My work this days and for the future are as simple as that.

Vibrating the chakras

2009-09-27T04:54:00.000-07:00

Un-Cut Malaysian Art Festival. August 09

Blind Spot. Metropolis Biennale, Copenhagen August 09

Storm In A Box. Sonata Tropica. 2008 Picture by Goh Hun Meng
Fly jentayu Fly. Picture by Leonard Kong. March 09

Anne James, Seven Skins

The Light Show, April 2009

Below I have pasted an article on Chakras. Please read it at your own discretion. I have included it in my blog as it has proven to be a good educational reading for all, as it is the vibrating energy that keeps my passion alive. Dance in its many manifestations I believe vibrates the chakras of the doer, and in turn inspire a carthatic experience to those observing or experiencing with the doer their vibrating psycho-physical dimension, by participating in the act of whirling, twirling, circling with dance physically and emotionally. This sharing or counter-transference between doer and participants will simultaneously stimulate their own chakra points, to a balance. I embody this principle of vibrating the chakras within my approach of dance not only to stimulate creative dream-travel in my solos, but also as a teaching methodology to inspire the spark of creativity among all that i teach, young and old. Although the principle of vibrating the chakras via dance and movement - is an unspoken goal within my approach (i do not preach it), and even though considered a jaded approach in performance studies but I believe it requires a new breath of revival, application and appreciation. In the context of applying my technique, it is a study that explores 3 R in authentic and metaphoric with emphasis on adaptive body system and expressions within a creative healing ritual performance process. I will begin to introduce and weave this principle of approach in a group work in the Year 3 & 4 of the New DanceLEAPS workshop - LIVING EXISTING in ART PLAY STORYTELLING

What are Chakras?

An article presented by KayahRa of Spiritual Network

http://www.spiritualnetwork.net/chakra/index.html

The word 'chakra' is derived from a Sanskrit word meaning 'wheel'; but perhaps even a better translation would be spinning wheel. If you could see chakras (as many of us whom work with them do) you would be able to see each primary chakra as a spinning vortex or wheel of energy; spinning inward from the front of your body towards the center point of that chakra on the kunilini and then spinning outward from that same point from your back.

Chakra Locations
The chakras start at the base of the spine and go up through the head on the kunilini which is located almost on your spinal column. The kunilini is shaped like a staff and many have mentioned that the Twenty-third Psalm of The Bible is speaking of the kunilini. Almost all religions believe in the spiritual and energy power points within the human body and these power points are called chakras.

There are seven primary or main chakra points with about a hundred smaller secondary chakras. The smaller points are often called meridians and are used during acupuncture to attune the Chi flow. The secondary chakra points are influenced with action and physicality while the seven primary chakras deal with emotions and spirituality. The primary chakras influence your health greatly, the health concerns related to them are caused by an unbalance in the chakra itself, from an emotional or spiritual cause, which then manifests into a physical ailment. Chakra Healing Each chakra relates strongly to a specific part of the body, specific emotions, mental, and spiritual concerns. Seven Chakras Health/Body Collation Chart

Vibrations of Chakras
Each chakra has a different frequency of vibration, symbol, color, and sound that it is attuned to. When the chakra is balanced, clear, and energized it would be in tune and play the most wonderful sound of it’s own, emitting the proper vibration for that chakra. Many things can effect the vibrations including sounds of voice, drums, music, chants, mantras, the vibrational energy of colors, and of course gemstones. All colors and sounds are vibrations and using the sounds and colors of the chakras assist them in becoming aligned and balanced. The colors of the chakras are that of the rainbow; starting at the root chakra black/red, orange, yellow, green/pink, light blue, indigo, and violet/white for the seventh chakra.

Each chakra needs to be able to function at the correct frequency independently. Each needs to be balanced, clear, energized, and properly spinning. Each time all the chakras reach a level of unison the entire physical vibration of the human body is raised.

Think of a scale of one to ten, with ten being the highest and best. Next, think of each chakra needing to be at the same number on that scale. Once each individual chakra is at the same number your entire physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual body raises into its own new vibrational level to match that of the chakras. The more chakra energy work you do the higher your whole body will be raised on this scale with ten being enlightenment while still in this physical human form.

Unbalanced and Blocked Chakras = Illness
When your chakras are not vibrating or spinning properly you are unable to move your physical, emotional, and mental body onto a higher spiritual level. When we are born we can have a perfect balance or have an imbalance from the past lives we bring with our spirit. Although the human body is just a vessel and a machine it is seldom broke from manufacturer reasons and natural biological causes. Each chakra effects different parts of the body and almost all illness is caused by poor chakra health. Chakra Healing Illness is usually for us, or those around us, to learn higher lessons. You are given intuition and hints all the time about what you should be doing and how you should be living but we often ignore the words from Spirit and our higher selves. We are too often stuck in the reality and physicality of life to listen to our inner selves. Eventually, the chakras become out of balance and since you are stuck in the reality - the chakra manifests the energy imbalance into the physical; the health of your physical body.

When you have chakra blocks you slow down the Chi, the life force, and the spiritual connection. You may feel depressed, out of touch, like you lost something, tired, unable to clearly think, or listless. You may get angry for no reason, be afraid, be unsure of yourself, lack self-confidence, be unhappy without a direct understood reason, and have a general negative outlook on life. All of these are indications that you have a problem to resolve that is chakra based.

Balanced Chakras = Happiness & Health
Universal Love, Energy, and Knowledge (ULEK™) flows through the chakras. It is important that you try to maintain the correct energy flow through each chakra since you could also negatively be effected by a chakra being too open. Remember that balance in each, and balance in all in comparison to one another is what you seek. When the chakras are aligned on the kunilini and balanced the energy flows freely from the primal base to the spiritual chakra allowing us a grounded connection to a higher spiritual communication. Think of each chakra as a water valve and your goal is to have each on the same amount so the ULEK flows through the kunilini, uninhibited and constant.

Cure Yourself through Chakras
Chakra Healing Most major illnesses and ailments are chakra based. Think about how when you feel uncomfortable and almost scared how your stomach gets in an uproar. This is your emotions, your chakra emotions, manifesting into your physical form. When you are no longer scared your stomach eases and returns to normal. Your whole body can be effected depending on the emotions and concerns you carry with you. Childhood and past life issues that you may not be consciously aware of could be the cause of your illness now. I am not saying that every single thing wrong physically is a chakra issue because we are human physical beings that is effected by nature and flukes happen. But on a spiritual level we choose the body we are in this time, or Spirit choose this body for us, for a reason and for lessons to be learned. Chakra work is not easy or painless. We often think we have resolved an issue mentally when there may still be emotional garbage attached to the chakra. We also have a tendency to bury things and those emotions are transferred to a cellular level in our bodies, so clearing those issues may take a lot of work to resurface and resolve.

Any of us who have done major chakra work will tell you that "Gee, I got it all fixed." We then raise to a new physical vibrational level and cope with those feelings of being in two places at once before we settle into our new physical vibrational level. Then just as we think we have it all together we will find more chakra issues to deal with. Often we can not see all the issues because something will be in the way. Once you remove that thing you can see what is behind it, more issues! You will know when an issue is totally cleared when you experience the release on all for levels; physical (you will feel it physically), emotionally (usually crying or screaming), mentally (understanding it like never before), and spiritually (feeling it transmuted into pure unconditional love). But fair warning... even after you think it is gone it can come back or you may not have resolved all the associated emotions, reasons, or spiritual concerns connected with the issue. So perhaps you can never really know if it is totally cleared but you will understand when that part of it is embraced and released.

As you progress to higher levels you will probably need assistance to bring the issues to the surface. We all need help and that is why people have talents for assisting others. Psychologists and psychiatrists help us with our mental and emotional problems which in turn assist the chakras. Our preachers, priests, rabbis and spiritual leaders assist us on the spiritual level. Our doctors help our physical being. So each in turn assist a minor part of the chakra healing and advancement work. But when you can incorporate all those things and healings into the focus of the problems - to each chakra, then you are making true advancements for your whole being.

The beauty of dance and pure Islam

2009-09-02T00:16:00.000-07:00

Ever since I left home to live, school and work independently away from my parents at 20, and throughout my first marriage, I have never been blessed to have an elderly imam friend visit our home. Besides, on occasions like family kenduri's held at family and relatives.

On 31 August 2009, we were pleased to have Haji Abdul Majid come to Rasmus and my home for buka puasa and in conjunction with Hari Merdeka in far away Copenhagen, organized by us with our good and dear friends Aisah Hashim and Radin Kasbani. He came with so little words, but he touched me with his open heart and mind, when he came and thank me personally for my art and dance, and that he has heard so much about me and came on behalf of everyone who has told him about me in Malaysia to say that they were proud for all that I have achieved and what I have been doing. His one advice was for me to continue,.... and jangan sekali-kali terasa terpinggir by those who do not understand what you do and what you are fighting for. I do not know why he spoke to me especially when I do not know how much he knows of me and my art, and if he was just making up what he was telling me (which i doubt so), but I was very touched and humbled by his comment and felt the warmth of Allah, that I am being recognized as an open but yet sincere believer in making art that expresses my faith and trust that beauty exist within Islam and that the art of energy in body expression for spiritual development towards our relationship with the world around us and the divine (or at least that is how I perceive the dance I do), .... i have never ever doubted it,.... dance has always been validated.....

I have added an article from http://www.beautyislam.org/practices_of_sufism.html on sufism. The beauty of it all is that Sufism is about spiritual development and integral part of its spiritual work is psycho-energetic/psycho-physical practices and its relation to the chakra points.

Sufism is an ancient tradition of spiritual development. It is widespread at present.

Sufism originated inside Islam. Some Sufi teachers-sheikhs say, however, that Sufism cannot be limited to a particular religion, historical period, society, or language. They call Sufism “the pure essence of all religions” and believe that Sufism existed always.

The Sufis, who often call themselves “people of true beingness”, from age to age bring to the world together with their teachings their art, which reflects their perception of the beautiful. The Sufi symbolism, images, and themes are found in a significant part of the oriental folklore, literature, especially poetry. Such is almost all Persian-Iranian classic poetry, which is recognized throughout the world. Widely known are the names of Sufi poets: Sanai, Rumi, Hafiz, Jami, Nezami. One can say the same, though to a smaller degree, about the Arab and Turkic literature, poetry, folklore.

What is Sufism?

The root Sufi means “pure”. It corresponds to the essence of the Sufi teachings and spiritual appearance of its best representatives. The true masters of Sufism, the true Sufis^* are indeed pure from the dogmatism and fanaticism, are free from confessional and national prejudices.

Let us talk about the fundamentals of the Sufi teachings:

— Sufism holds a belief that the universe consists of 7 “planes of existence” [2]. This concerns multidimensionality of space.

— The subtlest dimension, which the Sufis call Zat, is the Abode of God in the aspect of the Creator. The Creator and the whole diversity of His Creation (Sifat, in Sufi terms) compose the Absolute. The Creator pervades the entire Creation with His Love.

— The multidimensional human organism, which is similar in its structure to the multidimensional structure of the Absolute, can reveal in itself more subtle forms of beingness. One realizes this by cognizing and perfecting oneself.

Thus only by knowing his true essence man can achieve the direct perception of God and union with Him. This is expressed very laconically in the hadith of Sunna^* which reads: “He who cognizes himself cognizes God”. On the final stages of such cognition, the individual human consciousness merges with the Divine Consciousness. This final goal is described in the Sufi tradition as the highest state of consciousness Baqi bi-Allah (Eternity in God). Hindu and Buddhist synonyms of this term are Kaivalya, Mahanirvana, Moksha.

The foundation of Sufism is love (mahabba, hubb). The Sufis even say of their teachings as of “hymn to the Divine Love” and call it tassawuri — love-vision. Love is considered in Sufism as the power which strengthens one’s feeling of being contained in God. This process results in understanding that in the world there is nothing but God, Who is the Lover and the Beloved at the same time.

One of the tenets of Sufism is “Ishq Allah Mabud Allah” (“God is Lover and the Beloved”).

A truly loving Sufi gradually submerges, sinks, and becomes dissolved in the Creator — in his or her Beloved.

The principle of regarding God as the Beloved originated from the Sufi direct experience. The Sufis describe this in the following way. When man traverses a certain part of the Path of Love, God begins to help him more actively by drawing him to His Abode. And then man begins to feel more intensely God’s Divine Love.

Let us see how such love, leading man to God, develops according to the views of Jalaluddin Rumi [10].

This happens:

1) through the development of the emotional, cordial love for all the beautiful and harmonious in the world;

2) through active, sacrificial love-service to people;

3) and then — through extending this love to all manifestations of the world without discriminating between them; the Sufis say: “If you make a distinction between things originating from God — you are not man of spiritual Path. If you think that a diamond can ennoble you and a stone lowers you, then God is not with you” [5];

4) such developed love for all elements of the Creation is redirected then to the Creator — and man begins to see that, according to Rumi, “the Beloved is present in everything” [4,10].

Obviously, this concept of love is identical to the one described in the Bhagavad Gita and the New Testament: it has the same milestones and accents. The true love is regarded in Sufism in the same way as in the best spiritual schools of Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity — as the only power capable of bringing man to God.

Quite often Sufi sheikhs live in the world being occupied with common worldly activity. They can operate a shop, workshop, smithy, can compose music, write books, etc. The Sufis believe that one does not need seclusion to go to God. They say that the worldly activity by itself does not separate you from God if you are not attached to its fruits and if you remember about Him. Therefore on all steps of the spiritual ascent, man may be involved into social life. Moreover according to Sufism, it is social life that provides one with the possibilities for perfecting oneself. If every life situation is considered as educational, then one can live side by side with the most awful and despising people. One can be subjected to the most coarse influence — and do not suffer from it; on the contrary, one can be joyful and calm, and perfect oneself through these social contacts given by God.

The sphere of the Sufi teachings includes both esoteric and exoteric sides. That is, murids develop not only ethically, intellectually, psycho-energetically: they also master the methods, the secrets of their sheikh’s craft or art. Later this helps them in life.

An integral part of the spiritual work on all stages of murid’s spiritual ascent is psycho-energetic practice, which significantly accelerates the processes of ethical and intellectual self-development. Let us talk in more detail about psycho-energetic methods of tariqa.

The psycho-energetic teaching in Sufism is performed so that all students receive special tasks from the sheikh, according to their individual peculiarities and capability of comprehending. At the same time, the sheik gives psycho-energetic training for groups of students.

On the initial stages of psycho-energetic practice, the sheik suggests to murids many different exercises for development of the ability of concentration, for stopping the flow of thoughts and achieving the “mental pause”; they also work with images. After that, various psycho-physical exercises are used: rhythmic movements to music, Sufi whirling, etc.

The use of the whole spectrum of these means creates a remarkable purifying effect, develops the energy structures of the organism (anahata, in particular). Some of these exercises cause “subtle attunement” of the body, mind, and consciousness, and bring the participants to the ecstatic state which the Sufis call hal. There are different kinds of hal. Most often the student gains the following kinds of this state: kurb — feeling of the nearness of God, mahabba — felling of the fervent love for God, khauf — deep remorse, shauq — passionate longing for God, etc.

Let us consider some of such practices.

Dances of dervishes, for example, require absolute relaxation of the body and achievement of the full mental pause. Against such background of relaxation and meditative attunement of the consciousness to the Creator, harmonious spontaneous movements of the body occur. They are not planned; they do not originate from the mind, but as if occur spontaneously, Usually, the dances of dervishes are performed with use of meditative music or meditative singing. This ensures proper attunement of all dancers and brings all ready participants to the state of hal.

Another interesting technique is Sufi whirling. It allows one, in particular, to move the consciousness out from the head chakras, what facilitates entering the state of hal. There are various modifications of this technique. Whirling can be performed to music or without it, with use of mantras, with concentration in certain energy structures of the organism. In the latter case, whirling contributes to the development of the chakras. The general rules of performing this exercise are the following:

1) one can start whirling not sooner than three hours after meat meal;

2) whirling is performed to any convenient side, against the background of full relaxation of the body;

3) the eyes are opened and fixed on one of the raised hands or not fixed on anything at all;

4) whirling is performed in individual rhythm, with as smooth beginning and end of the exercise as possible;

5) in case of falling during whirling, one has to turn on the stomach and relax;

6) after performing the exercise, it is necessary to relax;

7) also one needs to be fully confident in the technique, fully “open” when performing the exercise. The duration of the exercise is individual and can vary from several minutes to several hours.

On the “mature” stages of tariqa, one performs intensive work on developing, perfecting the energy structures of the organism. In Hindu terms, this concerns, in particular, the chakras and nadi (meridians). In this work, a special emphasis is put on developing the anahata — the chakra responsible for producing the emotions of cordial love.

One of the techniques of this kind is the meditation of laugh. Its participants lay on the back and completely relax. After meditative attunement, they place one hand on the region of anahata, and another hand — on the region of muladhara, to activate these chakras. Then they begin to move through the organism waves of soft light-laugh (from muladhara — to the head chakras). The meditation of laugh creates a purifying effect and contributes to the development of the chakras, the middle meridian, if it is performed on the due level of subtlety^*.

Another technique used in Sufism is zikr. There are many variations, modifications of zikr — according to the traditions of the brotherhood or order, the sheik’s mastery. Zikr is performed in the following way:

All participants stand or sit in a circle. The sheik gives meditative attunement and then, by his instruction, the participants begin to perform a series of consecutive exercises. These exercises are rhythmic movements performed in ever-increasing tempo (for example, bows, turns, sways of the body). With movements, the participants chant praying formulas.

In some orders, they attach a great importance to music, to singing in meditation classes. They believe that music — the food of the soul (ghiza-i-ruh) — is one of the very powerful means contributing to spiritual progress. They widely use music that makes the body move spontaneously (tarab), facilitates entering deep meditative states (saut), etc. In some orders and brotherhoods, they have everyday listening to music, collective classes with singing of mystic verses (sama), ecstatic dances to music, etc.

The effectiveness of these techniques consists, in particular, in the fact that meditations are performed not only in motionless positions of the body but also against the background of movements.

Thanks to the complex use of different methods, one activates several “centers” of the organism: emotional, moving, intellectual ones^*. Coordinated, harmonious work of these centers makes possible a quick change in the student’s psychoenergetic state.

Apart from ordinary methods, in Sufism there are “accelerated” techniques of spiritual development. By means of these secret techniques, murids can make very fast advancement. These techniques are given only to those who possess very high psycho-energetic readiness.

The Sufi meditation tradition is very rich and multifarious. It accumulated vast experience of work with the body, mind, and consciousness. The Sufis developed the ways of cognizing Wajd (Samadhi, in Hindu terms), the techniques for accomplishing correct “crystallization” of consciousness in the higher spatial dimensions, and methods for mastering Fana-fi-Allah (Nirvana in the Creator).

In Sufism there are many original things. However, one can see its remarkable similarity to the spiritual traditions of other best religious schools and directions — the similarity of goals, the ways of their realization, and even of the methods. This indicates an important thing: that Sufism, Hesychasm, Taoism, Buddhist mysticism, classic Hindu yoga, the way of the Mexican school of Juan Matus, and some other directions are based on the same laws of spiritual development. It is only the realization of these laws that can be different in different cultural and historical conditions. And always there are people who — independent of their spiritual traditions — can successfully walk the Sufi path.

Question post40

2009-08-08T14:43:00.000-07:00

FlyJentayu Fly - International Women's Day. Pictures by Joie Koo

I was aiming that by May 4th 2009,... as I turn 40, I would be back on my feet to make a spectacular comeback by leaping into action and creating a storm in KL. But as the first half of the year passed by, ever so quickly with chaos and continued war, disasters, recession, the world celebrating Barack Obama, political turmoil in calm and harmonious 1 Malaysia, our new Prime Minister,... and the second half is fast moving towards the end of the year, I see more poverty in the news, the tsunami, earth quake and typhoon disasters, H1N1 Flu, the slain lembu, and the world mourning over the lost of MJ, dance losing Merce and Pina, film industry losing Yasmin Ahmad? I am speechless, motionless - I could not find any reason to go on stage, in a black box with light and effects, to present .... intellectual, abstract-lah, neopop, political-lah, serious dance, exclusive high art revolutionary dance -kah... samada modern, post-modern or avant garde ..... must be traditional Melayu dance and making a dance that must represent 1 Malaysia. POoh. ... kiri pooh kanan, bomoh cure and orang masuk rasuk dance. Dance to talk about oneself and ones past. I found it an aimless and empty work task. What was most important to me is whether,

I CAN make A CHANGE and help others through my dance, can I heal the sick, can I save the dying, can I cure and protect ...... can my dance eradicate poverty, how about the babies, .....

or can I make people see beyond their anger, fear and discrimination ..... can I ease the angry earth?

what can i do to make a difference? will i end up dying before i achieve all this? Its a whole lot of work to. So ambitious, yet

Speechless, Motionless. I am 40, i have a lifetime of dance to do and yet so little time to impact a change. Question 40, Where should I StART?

Looking back i started the year after Opera Pasar, working with Gunild Symes of Norden Dance Theater with two Royal Danish Ballet dancers in a Ballet Dance Film project in Copenhagen, followed by The Light Show in KL, Fly Jentayu Fly at the International Women's Day and DaD Phase 1 A Pilot Project for Inclusive Creative Arts Program. And then off to Blind Spot for the Kobenhavn International Theater Metropolis Biennale, Un-Cut Malaysian Art Festival in Copenhagen and Mabok at the Danish Film Institute for a Malaysian Evening, with the Malaysian Danish Association.

And out of all the full year of work, dancing with the children of the shelter home at Shan and Ramakrishna, the Special Need kids, and my typical kids from Ombak Rentak and the possibility to involve my family and children, though so challenging, have touched my heart as well as my artistic passion. So this is it. This will be my second wind in life and art, and so, even how little I can help to make a change, here is where I will StART or continue, at least before i end 40 and move on to 41 ........ and i don't intend to finish just there. As I have more to outreach ......... more than my heart and spirit can travel in one leap. But if I can move, spark and inspire children to share, integrate, to love, to care, protect and have empathy, to help, to be aware, to understand and have tolerance, to activate and support, to be responsible, and more too many. To become the wiser adults of the future. Question Post40,.... do I have more than a lifetime to achieve all this? All I have to say is, Insyaallah.

Let me start by sharing with you the light show we made in April 09. Not so helpful to the welfare of the society but at least it is about up-cycling and re-using thrash for light design - or click on related bloggers above page left;

The Light Show April 09

http://thelightshow09.blogspot.com/

Working with Gunild Park Symes (Nordendanse Teater)

2009-02-02T16:49:00.001-08:00

I have been back with Rasmus and Marjaan in Copenhagen for the Winter holidays since mid Dec last year, and was only planning to stay till January 2 if Maya was with us, but since she wasn't given the permission to come with us, we decided to extend our stay as we did not need to rush back. And so Rasmus, Marjaan and I spend wonderful quality time together. While enjoying the woods and the beach at our summer house (in the winter?? ya, since it is warmer with the fire oven than the heaters at home at the Linnesgade apartment). I took the opportunity when I had the chance, to develop some proposals for Ombak-Ombak, arrange some projects with children to work on in Penang, while enjoying my time out with my Malaysian friends, Amir and family, and Aisah. It was great that coincidentally Gunild Park Symes of Norden Danse Teater whom I used to work together in 2004, invited me to help out in her current project - which was to create a Ballet film with two very talented Royal Danish Ballet dancers, Alex and Chris. Before the scheduled date, she was invited by the Kobenhavn Teknisk Skole to present a workshop lecture on Dance and Film, in exchange and collaboration to use their studios, tech equipment - cameras, lights etc and the help of the students to produce the film. I presented a 10 min excerpt of Jadi-an, as a solo work for the students, where they were asked to observe and later discuss how they would film, create scenography and lights for the solo. It was a great workshop and I enjoyed working with the media students through exploring basic dance positions, shapes and use of Laban movement qualities that Gunild introduced and later instructed them to create their own short choreography. It was also wonderful to see Gunild at work and listen to her lecture on camera and film for dance. I did not manage to take pics during the workshop but below are some shots of the Royal Danish Ballet dancers working during their one day rehearsal. They will meet again Feb 15 to do the shooting of the film at the Kobenhavn Teknisk Skole, and unfortunately i will not be able to be part of that process, as Marjaan and I are leaving for home Feb 12 to be with Maya. I found that no matter what we decide to do in life and work, we have to find a comfortable balance where both passion and responsibilities as artist and mother are fulfilled. And this was what I appreciated and learned most from this trip back, and home again.

I was very honored and privileged to have been able to observe and work just a little with the two wonderful dancers from the Royal Danish Ballet. They make every movement look so simple. The marvelous thing about watching them, is their profound commitment and dedication to give in to the essence of dance - making each execution of a movement a new discovery, gives you the sense that nothing in the world is impossible. And so I leave Copenhagen again with lots of faith that, no matter how we keep crashing into dead ends in all the struggles and difficulties we experience in life, we must make it a learning discovery each time, and to believe that it is never ever impossible, to find a solution or resolution out of all challenges.

Sedikit Tulisan Tentang Aida Redza

2009-01-30T03:10:00.000-08:00

A new beginning ...

Writing slows us down just long enough to consider our emotions, body sensations and thinking. Clarification helps us live a more spiritual life because we don't have to behave in a knee-jerk reaction in defense. But rather to take flight to a higher knowing. Just to write can give us the pause to take a deeper look into our lives. Writing helps us vent, explore practice, clarify, and even heal feelings. It often helps us act in a way that reflects the spiritual path we have chosen. And it is an art in itself, just as the dances we make.

Writing takes time and a lot of silent contemplation especially for those like me, without the raw and inborn talent for it. Sometimes we must write awhile, read it over, rewrite, delete, thrash and rewrite again to get closer to our truth. Just like in dance. When one is in a position, where writing is rushed between our hectic daily activities and responsibilities, and without time to dwell and ponder on further, these writings are regarded as drafts. And so after nearly half a year since my last entrance on the blog (besides the short info on Opera Pasar and appearing on So You Think You Can Dance) I now have a little time to sit and ponder on my postings again, realizing it has been mostly incomplete drafts when i posted them, and so today, I have started again, learning to write and rewriting, scripting words like choreography. These writing may be changed and reworked or readapted again. As words are so sensitive and when put together into sentences, it can give all kind of wrong meanings and interpretations. So one has to be very wise with choosing the right words to find a creative and honest voice through our writings. And so please consider me a learner, correcting myself as we move along, and minta maaf kalau ada yang tersinggung atas silap dan salah, atau terkasar bahasa.

Below I have included a short tulisan by Dr. Zul Mohamad regarding his perception of me. I am most grateful and honored by his sincere description on where I stand as an artist.

AIDA REDZA

Aida Redza adalah seorang koreografer, seorang artis yang digelar seniman kalau di Indonesia, kerana kalau di Malaysia artis itu merujuk kepada artis pop yang menjadi penyanyi atau pelakon televisyen atau filem. Penari pun merujuk kepada yang menarikan tarian-tarian joget, inang, ballet atau penari yang menari di rancangan hiburan televisyen atau di kelab. Sedangkan seniman tari itu seperti seorang pelukis atau lebih tepatnya seniman visual yang bukan hanya menggunakan kanvas, tetapi lebih dari itu, juga mengguna kamera, bahan-bahan lain yang boleh dijadikan skulptur atau instalasi. Seniman mempunyai konsep-konsepnya yang tersendiri yang lebih mendalam pemahamamnya. Begitulah juga dengan Aida Redza, dia seorang seniman visual yang menggunakan tari dan anggota badannya untuk mengekspresikan pemikiran dan falsafahnya. Suasana tari kita di Malaysia masih berada jauh terkebelakang, seperti masih dijajah, seperti tidak membentuk pemikiran seorang warga yang merdeka. Karya-karya Aida Redza dilihat seperti avant-garde di Malaysia dan dia terkenal di Malaysia kerana itu. Karya-karyanya diterima di barat kerana setanding dengan mereka, tetapi berbeza kerana karya Aida Redza masih bersifat Melayu, Islam dan Malaysia, bukan kerana fizikalnya tetapi pemikiran dan falsafahnya. Dia banyak bermain dengan watak-watak yang berbeza yang kadangkala boleh menimbulkan kontroversi yang sengaja dilakukan untuk menimbulkan perasaan-perasaan tertentu di dalam menyampaikan idea, konsep dan falsafahnya. Jadi kita tidak bole melihat karya-karyanya secara terpisah-pisah, seperti apapun juga, termasuk mengambil sesuatu ayat yang tidak lengkap. Kita harus melihatnya secara total untuk mengerti falsafahnya. Kita juga jangan sekali-kali menghukum pandangan dia kerana dia ada konsep, pemikiran dan perasaanya yang tersendiri. Aida Redza seperti sudah menjadi ikon dalam karya-karya tarinya seperti yang digambarkan di dalam rancangan televisyen di 8 TV dan TV 3 yang disiarkan di seluruh Malaysia dan mungkin juga kawasan-kawasan yang sewaktu dengannya. Pemikirannya sudah diterima ramai kerana itulah dia ditampilkan di televisyen Malaysia. Tetapi untuk lebih mengerti pemikiran, falsafah dan idea dalam karya-karya tarinya, dia mengadakan cetusan-cetusan pemikirannya di blognya sendiri di internet agar senang kepada pelajar-pelajar universiti terutamanya untuk membuat rujukan atau juga penganjur festival serta juga teman-teman seniman tari untuk berkongsi pengalaman dan pemikiran. Maka itulah Aida Redza seorang seniman tari yang jarang ditemui, yang sering menampilkan idea tari dari watak-watak kehidupan kita di Malaysia.

Dr.Zulkifli Mohamad - Pensyarah Kanan di ASWARA, Akademi Seni Budaya dan Warisan Kebangsaan, Kuala Lumpur. Seorang seniman tari, aktivis seni, penulis dan kolumnis akhbar KOSMO.

On The Move with the Ombak-Ombak Rentak Kids 2008

2008-11-11T09:48:00.000-08:00

Opera Pasar. Ombak-Ombak Rentak Kids - pictures by Edwina Michelle Augustin

I have been back and working on the Rentak Penang New Dance Workshop for the young Ombakians since early August this year. After 2 series of 6 week workshop, the children begin to work towards developing a collection of compositions for the Rentak December workshop showcase based on their tour and impressions of the Campbell Street Market. It has been an enjoyable learning process for the kids. We chose Market as the theme and subject for our final expedition study to explore memory capture of movement and daily working and effort actions of the market to inspire simple dramatic compositions. Market is the thematic direction of the Anak-Anak Kota Music Rentak Workshop proposed by Sooi Beng, and the dance group were asked if we could also develop the workshop showcase towards a similar theme, and the kids and we agreed. So below are pictures of the initial process of developing short compositions for Opera Pasar that was presented on Dec 6 and 7 along the Campbell Street Market and at the Little Penang Street Market.

A TRIP TO THE CAMPBELL MARKET OCTOBER 2008

THE KIDS BEGIN TO CREATE A MINIATURE PASAR WITH PLASTICINE.

WORKING ON OUR FIRST CHICKEN SCENE. The kids were well aware that Chicken Fights are not legal and never conducted in a local Malaysian Market, but they were happy to say that they were representing a scene of a Market in Indonesia for example.... they were very imaginative. We had a wonderful playtime. It is simply fantastic to be able to give our adult self up to Play with children and experience to be the child they are. And it is just awesome, to have absolutely all the time in the world to give, serve, educate, develop and create .... watching and absorbing their learning process, their confidence build and insecurities overcome. Such intimacy, sharing and bonding with the kids about life and struggles, work and survival and about the cycle of birth and death. I was proud of them, like a sports coach, I had to be stern and disciplined,... but like a mother, I engaged them to indulge in appreciating the beauty and benefits of mental, physical and spiritual health thru relating dance with the living nature. Something, a child can never get if left facing the computer, tv or going to the mall daily and living in a world of materialistic values, or drilled only intellectually, without the opportuity for participation or integration of senses and awareness of others.

I care for the mental health of our kids today. Not so much in producing them to be excellent performers, but to understand the responsibility, commitment, team work spirit, give and take, tolerance, respect and understanding ... and more, the challenges they have to experience to attain the qualities to be a great and successful individual. I am proud when I see my kids growing into a towering personality. To achieve that,... we have to commit ourselves entirely into the mission. Thank you children for being patient, thank you Ombak-Ombak and thank you parents. I wished my son Marjaan was part of the workshop too, but his time will come, soon.

NEVER AGAIN!!! at sytycd,....don't know why I agreed to appear as Guest Judge.

2008-08-14T10:40:00.000-07:00

Watch if you have time,... at me babbling....getting nervous by the second that my periodic latah will menjelma tiba-tiba and overwhelm me to bezerk. Which it did happen, and unfortunately - if you know what latah is,... well, watch aida in the show. I tried very hard to suppress the latah, by enjoying the music and dancing a lil on the sit to relax myself and trying to keep cool. But instead,... the latah kept coming back in electrical jolts. And it did not help that Aishah kept asking me suddenly,... and what do you think Aida?!! ...... , secara terkejut.

Not my kind of space and environment, the crowd, the noise, the camera and lights .... was much too much .... that I could not focus at all on the comments I really wished to say to the competitors, and can you imagine, they wanted me to put on false eyelashes..... (which i am glad i did not), so di dum di dum, everyone has the right to their own opinion - and its always best to be honest. Why i did it?... well, not for the survival factor, nor the glamour or the lime light - actually my husband encouraged me to do so - thank you ras for having faith in me but sorrylah, (memang its not the money nor fame for contemporary performers/choreographers, and especially for guest judge - infact our expenditure to attend this event is more, than the small honorarium they provided) But yes, I wanted to experience the new environment, and to test and challenge myself as an artist, if I am capable, to sit and speak my opinions in a setting such as this popular live broadcasting dance competition. Definitely I was no Paula Abdul, but I did the best I could to entertain, as what the Director had directed me. Make it exciting for the audience and the competitors, and so I did. (although i was wondering - why do we need to entertain?) With my 'terlatah' periods that had to happen especially when the camera was on me,... so uncomfortable. Anyways, it was worth it,... we learn from our discovery and mistakes, if we never try, we will never know how for the next time. Life is a pleasurable learning.

Well, nothing to do about it now,... so instead enjoy the performance by this talented Top 6 Malaysian dancers at So You Think You Can Dance Season II - Episode 13

http://www.8tv.com.my/Shows/EpHighlight.aspx?MasterID=299&ShowID=332&MenuID=2&SubMenuID=1&TemplateID=1&EpID=10469&VideoID=11798#anchorVid

AIDA REDZA - A SHAKTI DANCES ALONE from 2003 -2005

2008-05-15T04:50:00.000-07:00

You can view some old and new works of Shakti Dances Alone from 2003 -2005 at

http://www.youtube.com/user/shaktidancesalone

or check out the Dare to Dream Documentary Part1,2 -3 on the 8 TV Malaysian Program at

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4535350275939905137

and look into my working collaborations with the Ombak-Ombak Artstudio in Penang at

http://www.storminabox.blogspot.com/ or http://www.ronggengmerdeka.blogspot.com/

ENJOY!!!

Jadi-an solo in Vision2020 in Copenhagen

2007-10-19T11:03:00.000-07:00

with one foot on earth, and the other menuju kearah syurga (reaching for heaven)

We wish to be the root, the soil, the seed, the fruit that gives life,... and we wish to be the world tree, the leaves, the growing branches, reaching high to reach the skies and heaven.

But we accept, we are only human, with our failings, weaknesses and fragility.

We are only able to serve and bow, humbled to the almighty power of our creator. Dear Mother Earth, Give us strength to see the light.

Experiencing TV 3 Potret Terbilang trip to Copenhagen - July 2007

2007-08-02T13:52:00.000-07:00

Malaysia Bolehke?, I and Amir Zainorin did a little spontaneous flag work presentation by the South of Victory Island stretch of beach, close to the Kaltoft's summer house. With this short showing, I do think we shocked the tv team a little as they were not prepared at all to see the 'dance' work me and Amir put up for them. We did not shock them because the presentation was offensive, not at all but rather, they came with some expectations to see 'dance' such as popular dance or traditional dance, but instead we were physical performers with strong expressions and our body is used as an artistic installation. In fact, I think it was too hard for them, to decipher or understand, and they were unsure about what they actually wanted to ask during the interview regarding our form of expressive work, and how to continue and progress in the discussion with me, Amir and the artists friends visiting me from Holland. Will it be an artistic discussion and interpretation about my work as a choreographer, or will it just be about highlighting the many special Malaysians who have made it overseas.

The next day they left, saying that they had enough shots of me and my life in Europe,... a day early,.. missing out a whole day shooting arrangement I had organized for them in Rotterdam to see me work with the dancers of the EOC Orchestral Theater company that I was hoping to develop. On top of canceling the appointment I have been arranging for the past one and the half month, which was arranged based on their requests, with an excuse that they blundered with the car rental and budgeting the transportation situation to Holland, (in my opinion it could have been overcome, since Rasmus and I, as well as Aisah was involved in assisting them, and if they tried to solve it and respected that I have made those arrangements especially for them since they were the ones to ask me to).... then they would have helped me not suffer my reputation as an organizer... when I again had to inform, cancel and let down a team of professional artists who were gathering and waiting in Holland (sacrificing their summer holiday time) to meet and work with me especially for the TV 3 shooting. It was the second time I had to cancel due to the disorganized scheduling done by the TV 3 team. It was simply unprofessional on their behalf for requesting and did not follow through,.... I have to be honest. But I knew they were very tired from their long trip, covering many other Malaysians working and living all over the world. And they were tired because they were trying to cramp many other possibilities of using different shots to be used for other different TV 3 programs, so that they can save cost and budget. Of course this is common in the manner how old Malaysian working establishment function in order to control and manage its economic finances.

But again, i was not told that the documentary was not to view the principles of my work and how i work overseas and I was not really clear of their true intention. So it was partly my fault for not asking. So therefore, they knew they had all the material they needed to have from me. But i didn't think it was enough as they only had shots of me in my everyday activity at home for example like going to tivoli with my husband and son, how we celebrate raya, me talking to maya on raya day,,,,etc. I thank them for selecting me as a person in their program,... but i think next time they should inform their intentions clearly, before traveling far to highlight someone in their program and requesting the host to prepare and make time to accommodate their request, but in the end the host feels like they were used since it was all on volunteer basis. So please, please, please consider the objectives of it all ..... since it is not so cheap to use money funded by the ministry of information,.. or from rich VIP's, or politician,... coming from the tax payers from home country. It is important to be transparent in everything we do, and i have to say this as a true Malaysian citizen, so that we Malaysians can learn from experiences and mistakes to better ourselves for our country.

We don't travel all the way, spending so much money,... and using it so unwisely. They should be more prepared and not come without researching thoroughly about the person they wish to highlight, (if that was their intention), with unprepared script and rush through to take just enough material to finish the program, rather than giving the time to complete the information they need about this person they wish to highlight, to serve correctly to the public at home about the work and life of this person. Its not like I would like to project a lot about me, after all, with great appreciation, I had already the opportunity to do something with the 8 TV, in the Dare to Dream series - and i was very honored and grateful to Idora and company for selecting me, (that I could dare say was more organized accept that I wish I could have given them more scenarios of my work with dancers and performance). So, I should not be so picky and primadonaish about what tv 3 wish to do with their program on me. In fact I should be thankful,....but whatever it is, for whatever I have provided, I just think it is polite to be better organized and more prepared so that they do not let people (especially people in the professional world i have arranged for them) down with false promises - when what they needed is just me as a Malaysian, about how i live at home, what i do in my daily activity, masak, make party, my family, etc. A lesson to learn for me.

Was I dissapointed? Not at all. Is my agreement to do this program what I meant about being forced to do so for false recognition. No, i do not need to be recognized in my field of work. It is they who came to me, and not i. I can only give what I can, and to provide them the very best of my ability. And if I am unable to do so, then I take big responsibility for failing to provide them with all that they needed to make their program work. To make things work for others, we have to willingly give and offer. And that is what I do, i offer my passion and commitment willingly to service their requirements, for all Malaysians and more. And this was my mission since the early years of my career in Kuala Lumpur, Serving with passion my artistry for my country, people and for the love of God. And not for false recognition, meaning money, status and desire for materialistic return. Helping others voluntarily through the love of dance, is my mission. Love is the most powerful energy, and it becomes potent when evoking dance. It helps us to overcome all challenges in life. A combination of prayer and dance, giving and serving this energy evokes compassion and understanding, and to me this is the best life formula you can share with the young and old, as a contribution to help people grow strong, well informed confident and responsible human beings. And so, i contribute, i give .... as part of my share of zakat. And if yes, I will contribute, if given the opportunity to dance for the poor, the underprivileged, the special need people, the suppress, oppressed and more. If god willing. If it help others to grow and transcend. But of course everyone needs to earn and survive, and if it means i have to do what we call commercial work like - opening for the Batik Extravaganza, show for touristic purposes, and it pays for me to use to help my family and parents for their daily living, then I will do so. Although it is not something i feel very inspired to do , to be seen on stage doing a popular traditional or ballet dance, as it does not speak about the world, the society, the pain, the love ... then i consider it as just a job, and means to earn to contribute to the society, for my daily living and extra for my kids,... and kalau cukup, a little aside for charity.

The second day shooting and interview at the summer house with Rasmus Kaltoft.

The crew arrived on Sunday July 8, 2007. A small group of orang Malaysia gathered at Aida & Rasmus's cosy little apartment in preparation for the Mock-up Hari Raya celebration. As requested by the TV 3 before arriving, that they would like me to help them arrange a makan-makan session with orang Malaysia celebrating raya in Denmark, to be used in other Raya programes coming up for the Raya celebration in October. So I did although I do not understand why I had to do it, but I did it joyfully and voluntarily. It was fun, and the guests had a good laugh when each and everyone had a chance to make their Raya wishes to people at home. This was followed with a session with me talking about my work in the living room and then after a walk with the 3 of us, Ras, Marjaan and myself, including our strong supporters Aisah and Radin, members of the UMNO club... in the city and out to Tivoli. Other than my interview alone, and some shots in the kampung back home, and work with Citrawarna (a commercial work). They don't really have any material or documentation of the total scope of my work and my inspirations as a Muslim-Malaysian choreographer living overseas - which is so important for the Malaysian public to know about as a learning process. (And on top of that, they double booked our shooting with another Malaysian personality in Copenhagen - last minute, sharing the same period they were working with me with her - which made the whole event more chaotic. It doesn't mean anything to be double booked, but it would have given me some free time, that could be best spend with my husband and child, friends for example) It sounds like I am so full of myself,... but then again,.... i am left,without a clue about, what are the daily plans and what they really needed. I don't think good journalism should make one feel that way. In fact they should be able to inspire or provoke the artist/personality to further define who they are,.. and what is their role in life and with the world around them. Its about vision and having passion to fulfill this vision to educate or inform others, about the philosophy of whom they are projecting about. It should be a two way learning process,... gaining insights from this exchange. But in this case,.... I am sad to say, and this is only my personal opinion, and not the other artists who were on the Potret Terbilang program. In my experience with them, in their dealings with me, they were too much living 'in the box' chasing after their 'false recognition' of producing something or anything they can show with the camera, without space or time to peep out and see what others are doing and going out of their way to help them fulfill their goals. Or maybe they simply do not know what to say more about dance. As to some people, dance is just steps, entertainment, part time hobby/main-main, and to some others, dancing is haram and is not essential to our mental, physical, spiritual and emotional growth as human. (And that is what we have to educate others who does not understand the innate values of dance as an artistic and spiritual expression). So like I said, I was expecting a two way learning process, or at least they, should have as media people promote their work as a mission to educate, we learn from you and I from them, and we inform others what we both learned from our encounter. And to learn, we need to give time to indulge and open to listen. And this happens to all of us, to me and everyone, we get lost trying to satisfy our needs and chase for the false recognition but forget to take time to reflect on the subtle principles of life and relationship that exists all around so. So in our daily rat race, it is most crucial to stop, breath, reflect, center ourselves, be within our body, state of being, in touch with our soul,... just as we take time for our prayers,... it makes us think clearer and wiser. So as to be in the right mind to express our appreciations and take responsibility for all our conduct and decisions, the good and the bad, the rights and the wrongs.

Their final question is what is my opinion and take about Malaysia celebrating 50 years of Independence? .... I wonder, what do you think I am thinking? ..bolehke, Malaysia? Its not a criticism, but a challenge. For me and for all Malaysians,... life becomes fuller when we all head towards betterment by constantly challenging ourselves, and motivating ourselves towards learning and change. That are my two cents opinion about our living need for embodying independence.

And after observing the documentary,... i would like to thank TV 3 and all the crew, it is what it is, just a show about the different Malaysian people living their lives and what we say, how each of the individuals mengharumkan nama Malaysia through their different and unique careers all over world. And therefore, I am grateful and honored, even thru the ups and downs, for being selected. Thank you TV 3 and peace be upon you and the company. Amin.

http://mazlinnordin.blogspot.com/2010/12/siapa-physical-movers.html

Awakening the Dream - Workshops outdoor

2007-07-22T15:14:00.000-07:00

Ronggeng Merdeka Musical - rehearsal in Penang April 2007

From recent to past workshop process in search for an approach to new dance intervention.

Collisions at Locusts - June 2007, Rotterdam

Workshop - Basic Movement Analysis with Penang Choreographers and Dancers - April 2007

EOC - Urbanshaman On The Move 2004-2005, Workshop at Center of Performance Researh - Aberythswyth in Wales

To play like a child with bare feet, and to realize our daily surroundings, or to be one with the Universe,... to taste the delights of nature, to dance with the clouds and touch the wind that moves us,..... to bring together, young and old, all over the world, to share the beauty of God's gifts, makes my art complete.

Pictures of Dance Day Wall A Day After

2007-06-20T17:37:00.000-07:00

So, as you can see everyone is involved in preparing, as well as in clearing up, including little Marjaan and grandmother wan too. Thank you Hitori, Machiko and people from Asian Pottery.

Today, me and Hitori are looking for some funding to fire the clay wall. And it may costs around 5,000 - 6,000RM. Suggestions are very welcome!!!

AiDance - A Contemporary Choreographic Journey

2007-06-19T17:29:00.000-07:00

Below: Pics for Feast of Fools - Center of Performance Research, Aberythswyth, Wales

2004-2007 EOC 3 -Urbanshaman on the Move. Choreography: Jadi-Jadian (2005 Korzo Theater, Den Hague; Dance Attelier, Rotterdam, 2006 School of New Dance and Development, Amsterdam) , Guna-Guna (2006 Rijkweg Church City Apartment, Rotterdam). Aida has been busy developing her research on New Dance Intervention. It is a project that highlights her life on the move, as she learns about the world, and to return what she learns to serve the society and most importantly to lead and be led by the stories she collects along the way. As a young girl, aida has always been a physically inclined. She was always challenged as a sports athlete and an outdoor hiker/and runner with the Penang Brats, and influenced by her brothers involvement in Tae-Kwan-do and father's craze for Rugby, throughout her younger days. (And taking after her family's frequent shifts from KL, Penang, Johor, and back to Penang to stay). Aida finds herself very easily adaptable to change and thirst for new discoveries. As a young girl she is constantly on an expedition, learning and searching ways to interpret stories she gathers from her contact with her family, friends, people she meets, places, landscapes, architectures, myths, and objects that parallels to her own personal life. A Malay girl growing and living from state to state in Malaysia, and identifying herself between city life and kampung experiences, she began to find her own ways to adapt to the constant shifts. She enjoyed dreaming and making-up fantasies of the ideal world. She remembers the days as a young girl following her mother to work, taking the bus from Pudu Raya to Bukit Nenas Convent School, Aida would look out into the world through the bus glass window and fantasizing herself as the wise magician woman, taking total control of the world, and cleaning up the mess, the dirt, the pollution, the poor beggars, the hungry animals and children in the buzzing city of KL. Saving every living creature from harm and poverty. How could she serve her surroundings, while she observes her mother, working hard to keep the family together as she was the breadwinner for some years (while father taking big risks with money attempting to start own business). Feeling proud and almost envied the strength of her mother, her mother's mother, her great grandmother and even the woman friend of the grandmother (who is said to be a bomoh-shaman, and who rares spirits) - who have been the ideal image of the Wise woman, the storyteller - the religious ustazah, the ones in power. (This women sailed on a little boat across the sea from Medan to Singapore, escaping the Japanese Occupation in Indonesia, and running away from their men folk who were too weak, too poor, too lazy to support, defend nor protect them).
As a child aida was a wanderer, observing and seeking for family stories such as these to relate to and empower herself as she was voiceless to speak against a family tragedy that traumatised her mother and her own sister. And in a way a tragedy that affected her siblings as her mother experienced a period of depression (a natural reaction that will happen to any other woman in the same situation) while having to continue to raise the rest of the family amidst the tragedy of losing her daughter to her in-laws. Her sister was separated by force from her mother by another woman, her father's own mother. Another dominant Grandmother figure and 3 daughters from the Minangkabau clan. Powerful women yet jealous women. They never could accept Aida's mother (the modern city woman from Singapore) as the wife of the son and brother, as a mother to the grandchildren, niece and nephew, as their new daughter and sister-in-law, who is in every way a good woman. Aida is haunted by this nightmare, although she is not directly affected by it as she was not even born when the incident happened,... but her mother's cries and torment remains silently vivid in her psyche. Her father's and grandfather's lack of power and courage to take control of the situation, gave her reasons to always question the paternal male authoritarian and figure who reigns as the master to the women race in her early works.

Aida as an artist, acknowledges the existence of a woman's psyche fears and distrust towards the male figure. But also curious towards a woman psyche itself, their state of mind and self control, their vulnerabilities/and capabilities to lose themselves in hysterical outbursts and unpredictable temperaments if provoked. As we all know in Malaysia and have seen and experienced stories or happenings of women or young girls in hysteria - and knowing that it exists deep in every woman's psyche. It could only be due to a reaction of being unhappy, deprived of love and affection, emotionally or physically abused or a reaction towards being suppressed, and a tragedy for example. To avoid any possibility of confronting this unknown energy/spirit/will (if it exists. How does one know if it exist in every woman, unless provoked?) Maybe, it can only be perceived, but realistically cannot be confirmed if it is not provoked by a traumatic experience, but no one can really determine the extent of a woman's fighting will, spirit and power. Aida cannot define this herself, as she has never experienced what her mother has gone through or other universal experiences of women, what they have felt or how their psyche can experience hysteria in the most tragic situations. But for aida, this could be one out of the many reasons why she as a child chose to be the silent girl - who knows, no one can determine why we each choose how we deal with the world?, (and it could have been the same for many other little girls or little boys) lost in fantasy world, to play the role of the heroin, the warrior, the magician to save the world of people, nature and creatures from abuse, manipulation and return the freedom that has been violated. Wanting to feel, be in contact, explore and confront this psyche, the spirit that is within every woman. Lost in play where Aida is seeking for this unknown side of the woman psyche, here she refers that her play is the fantasy and dream space where every child experiences till adulthood, a child's play is a behavior that is important for all young and old people to be in touch as they grow healthily. Play as a way to discover, learn and understand the world around them. The silent play for Aida, is not a sign of indifference. Indifference is not to care, not to act, not even to think, believe or breath. Indifference is inhuman and inhumane. This silence, on the other hand is almost always premeditated, a willful act, where without silence there would be no sound. As a choreographer and artist today, and with a loud need to express through physical play and study of the body, Aida has learned to use her art to uncage that premeditated silence of play. And like a shaman warrior she seeks freedom and transcendence to express through her choreographic forms and content, as an attempt to experience this silent psyche or even understand it, or possibly finding its similarities in performance by experiencing a theatrical Catharsis through kinesthetic expression, acknowledging its enlightenment to the profound similarity of the healing state of 'Angin' in Mak Yong or the dantian of Noh. And in the few years of her experience she has found a space in her perfomance existence where it has enabled her to evoke this energy within her and create ways to use it to heal herself and the people around her through her art of ritualizing dance thru storytelling, while entertaining and educating the public. Through her work she is able to express all fear and distrust of the psyche through choreography as an intervention process, so as to empower and build courage for all to confront the unknown. Her works today share the method of new dance with the daily public and community of collaborators, performing artists and audiences in all context of life and environment. Re enacting a shaman, or a storyteller, making it larger than life through her body installation and its design.... she explores the phenomena of transformation and shifts of human psyche through intervention and chance happening live with the real world as her way to transcend and heal - as humans acknowledging God's might and will, by highlighting our human fragility and weaknesses in the characters she project. And simultaneously to evoke or meet eye to eye with the woman warrior psyche that may exists or hidden within each being's (each persona or character) in their will live and story of survival - in which she studies to represent in her choreography.

2002-2004 Aida Redza - a Shakti Dances Alone. Berkumandangnya Qasidah (2002 InTransit Festival, House of World Cultures, Berlin; ASEM Conference, Kobenhavn International Theater Event), Stirrings (2002 InTransit, House of World Cultures, Berlin; Muiderpoort Theater, ColourDance, Amsterdam), Naked On Tip-Toe (2002 InTransit, House of World Cultures, Berlin), Feast of Fools (2003 Images of Asia Festival, Kobenhavn International Theater; 2004 Dasarts, Amsterdam; 2004 Asia Euro- Young Choreographer's Festival, Berlin), Manuk Dewata (2003 Mohram Concert at Istana Budaya Malaysia), Tiga Naga (2003 Choreography for Group Work for Tandak Dance Company, Ramli Ibrahim Sutra Dance Co.) Deeply affected by the news of the passing of her American friend Major Spencer Sanders in North Carolina, and regret for not knowing until 2 years later in 1998. Aida began to dwell on the concepts of immortality and eternal life, reincarnation, death and rebirth, resurrection, the continous cycle of the spirit transcending the mortal shell and returning in another form of life in her performance. Trying to embody the principle of living in physical or spiritual form (in performance) for an infinite length of time as the driving force of her work. Becoming the mythical creature, embodying the state of omnipresence in her solo choreography. Her short and intensive introduction to the training of Noh Theater by Naohiko Umewaka in the Flying Circus Laboratory with Theaterworks had inpsired her tremendously,... and followed by a journey into Buto. While Tai-Chi and Qigong complimented her performance center and discipline in her state of presence on stage. With this understanding to evoke and embody both the powerful physical and intrinsic soft quality of the dantian power within her,... aida in a way during her early choreographic journey,.. had the passion to use her art as a spiritual enlightenment to understand God's miracles of life and death, by means of centering the psyche, mind and soul and evoked the power of the 'shaman-warrior' that could heal her reality and the world around her. And to be one with the Universe. Creation is the beauty of existence, creativity of the body, mind and soul is where she wishes to empower herself with, and this passionate inner creativity is shared to all and reality,... this creative space is where we must all be, a space suspended between the two worlds of beginning and end,... where she often floats in a suspended dream state in dance - the art of unknown. Often misinterpreted by some (who has crossed paths with aida) regards her as being different because of her opinions about the significance of body, mind and soul in relation to the universal psyche, life and the world, who thinks they know her well, can only evaluate Aida as being the crazy, unreasonable, lacking of moral and religious values and therefore a weak character - woman - mother. It is shameful how some few individuals are shallow to perceive motherhood and particularly aida's role as a mother to her daughter, based only on their discriminative study of her artistic preference, mission or ambition and expressions (here it is pointed out that it is only the few individuals she knows). How wrong they are as they are the people who are actually the ones who live in fear and afraid of the unknown, and the ones whom are lost when they are unable to make sense or control the will power and spirit of the unknown. The freedom of unpredictability and chance is what drives Aida's choreographic principle, and yet it frightens those who cannot make sense or simply discriminate it as they lack the ability to possess it or control. It is strange how art can make one feel so powerless and fragile. But that is its purpose,... it triggers self reflection. And with that comes realization and transcendence,... and ultimately submission to,... in my believe and faith, a submission to Gods existence. And that state of being one with God, is the enlightenment of healing in dance. Amin.

Urbanshaman On The Move 2006 - Guna-Guna

2007-06-13T18:11:00.000-07:00

THE POSTCARD OF URBANSHAMAN ON THE MOVE MARCH 2006 - ROTTERDAM featuring GUNA-GUNA.

Here are pictures from Urbanshaman On The Move March 2006 featuring the choreography Guna-Guna. The piece was created in the studio at Codarts in the span of 2 months as it moved through 3 phases of exploration and intervention, before we presented it at the hallway of an old church that is used today as an adjoining hall between two blocks for City Apartment in Rotterdam. I had with me 12 great performers. 3 Musicians/vocal and 9 movers. They shared and inspired such powerful spirit to the whole project, and thumbs up especially to the music trio, collaborators, exclusively Michal Ozowski. The venue, hall was chosen because of its strategic existence as it was the remaining structure of the old church tower. It stands to intervene between the two new blocks, as an entrance as well as the exit out between the two blocks.

In the second year of EOC (2005 -2006) - the UrbanShaman on the Move project focused on the importance of developing a group composition that is triggered from the experiences in working in groups for dance. The experiences includes such that arises from human relations in working as a group, as we explore the subject of sovereignity and power.I was interested to observe the process, from the perspective of the different leadership approaches that was used by the dancers to assert ideas as the dancers confronts the issues of power within the choreographic process. As well as at the methods we used to develop the idea, while taking great attention to each dancer's individual feelings and desires, as well as the groups will, emotions, dreams and fears. And at the same time dealing with the groups relation and mentality in their ways of contributing to the idea. My role as the choreograher is to inject an initial entry point into the subject matter while inspiring the dancers to explore. I come in everyday to the rehearsal with specific tasks and direction, and stood ready with my intervention strategies to pick on the moments when the 'power' struggle/communication/conflicts begin to exists in the landscape of their improv. First I interpret those significant moments that i identified as I see it.And then later, I give them time to change my interpretation,into a new pictorial landscape or movement chapter/episode based on another take of the same subject. I empower them to invent an intervention action against my interpretation at their own free will without supressing their own personal impulses.All the different chapters are based on task improvs dealing with thoughts of; are we in control of our own destiny or are we being controlled, and if so who is, what is, how is it being done and what is our response and reaction about it?

My work is to sharpen my skills to create this series of tasks and motivate them towards recognizing immediately the moments they exprerience 'a change' or 'transformation' or what I would like to call the 'experience of omnipotence'.Omnipotence in this context is not asserted by means of delusion. But rather for me this is the moment when the performer is in a living relationship, between the feeling of tingling alive-ness and the magic of being intimate with the moment, a sense of feeling real and of being.Being in control of your own world. "Introjective and projective identifications is taking place in a 'to-and-fro' process between relating to external world and object, and to the internal ones." ... D.W Winnicott in Home is where we start from. This moment when the idea of 'power' surfaces in its truest form within the group as well as the individual dancer, I am there at the very moment analyzing, notating and inventing a storyboard script or score consisting of different chapters of set and structured improvs with composed phrases of movements.

The 3 phases.

The first phase of UrbanShaman; includes working with the individual dancer in their own personal journey and take of power and sovereignity. Recognizing the elements of their metaphoric relation to the symbolism and images of power.With this I introduce different elements and materials that plays important role in my work; ie. food and eating,water and cleansing,and numbers, formulas, objects for mapping the human existence, survival and evolution. And as a group, a new task is given where they interact and redirect themselves in the group category they find themselves spontaneously moving into.Here I have observed how I categorized them in groupings,was coincidentally very much a like the 3 groupings that W.R Bion has made a study on Group Dynamics and Experiences in Groups, The 'fight-flight' group, the pairing group and the dependant group. Our chapters were determined by the grouping of the predator-prey group,the healer and patient pairing, the trinity group and the dependant group.

The second phase of Urbanshaman; the series of improvs are developed into chapters, highlighting the different types of group situations. It is then presented simultaneously with the work from the first 2004-2005 Urbanshaman project, Jadi-Jadian. The objective is to observe how two works from the research, Jadi-Jadian that deals with more of the journey of the internal world - the fantasy or the dream, and Guna-Guna deals with the physical vs phenomena of power in the external world, intervenes with each other.

The subject here is to trigger the chances of chaos, collision through this intervention, that may stimulate the will and impulses of the dancers to make spontaneous 'change' that could enable them to experience a 'transformation'.While journeying fluidly to connect the new chapters created from two separate work, into a larger score.

The third phase involved the process of exploring a chosen site to futher inspire, influence and intervene with the chapters that have been scripted into a score. By which the space of the church - a spiritual power, added more stories and meanings to the score. The score is deconstructed and reconstructed again to include the different stories collected from the relationship with the new space, and the power that exists within its architecture.

The final presentation is a reinvention of Jadi-Jadian to welcome the creation of a structure for Guna-Guna, the second work of the UrbanShaman on the Move. The work was also intervened by the closeness of the audience and their participation in the space and in some sections of the choreography. The final outcome is the process of 'transformation' for the project. Where the change is experienced by all the performers, and the audiences who journeyed through the work and the space and experiencing,i) the performer in their landscape,ii)the performer introducing their world with variants changing the environment of the landscape, and finally iii) the final end outcome when the journey is completed at a different point of the existence of the landscape, completing the choreography.

The third projet of Urbanshaman will focus next on the experience of the audience as an important function to the process. As well as the involvement of the soundscape and visuals used as another level of intervention. By which without them the performance cannot take place. So let's keep our eyes open for new things to come with Urbanshaman on the Move, and if the shaman is willing. God Bless.

Changing the Unchanging

2007-06-12T15:44:00.000-07:00

Today Jun 12, 2007 after receiving news from Shanun, TV 3 Malaysia about their change of plans and date of arrival in Copenhagen from 22 -26 June to 6-10 July. And after all the arrangement and preparation I have made with Michal and the dancers from Codarts, with Joe and the Ma-NL group in Rotterdam, Amir the Malaysian artist friend-collaborator living in Copenhagen, about preparing the arrival of the TV 3 team and the mock-up scenarios that we were going to reenact for them etc. I, for the very first time experience a great dissapointment having to 'change' plans. Aida, who strives on being spontaneous in the moment of chance happening, activating change in performance. I was not too happy with rescheduling plans. I cannot improvise and solve the problems arising from this changes (a reaction that opposes the very basic principle my life and work is based on). But it is just that I am not the so 'gung-ho' young blood as I used to be - at organizing happenings at such short notice. Especially in Europe. People do not do 'anything can lah, whatever lah, oklah'. So to pacify my realization that I am getting a little older, I decided to travel down memory lane and google Aida Redza on the internet (as you can see it was only to satisfy my ego. Because secretly, I felt like I failed in my job to coordinate this simple arrangement with my creative friends in holland and in denmark). As I scanned through the sites, I began to panic, realizing - 'oh how wrong!, oh but things have changed!, I do not do Butoh, and I cannot teach Sarawakian dance!!!...,' I can reinvent or deconstruct - if that is too general a statement - I can do a montage of it instead. And then of course there are gossips about my disappearance from Malaysia and back again to stay, my difficulties as well as my successes as a choreographer, performer, a partner, a wife, a mother, a daughter,.... and a friend. And that is the reason for this blog. I decided to set the records straight,.. and make clear who I am, what I do and where I have been,to search not only for freedom to explore and create, but for passion and joy in life, after the most important people who has made my life complete,... my family. and CHANGES that have inspired within me,... lots have happened over the years, some good and some bad, but mostly for the better and much needed. I have to set the records straight that it was not Changes that is triggered by the desire to run away, to deny, or to chase after a more materialistic life or for false recognition for my art work. Not at all.

As like my work is about being in constant ready to go and being in the moment to activate spontaneous intervention energy, to create change from 'what is not suppose to be and should not be, or not meant to be', and direct the active positive power to transform and transcend it into a tangent of new beginning and beyond. This has also been the major drive in my life principles and reality, to learn, to grow and to always develop immediate possibilities in what i do to better myself - but the spirit within, the will is unchanging - it remains brewing with passion. So I shouldn't be affected at all by the changes in the TV 3 schedule, as well as the changes i have made from the child I use to be to the confident and courageous woman I am today. I should not hyper-ventilate about my passing years as an artist, but instead take a deep breath as a way to strengthen my inner and unchanging spirit. I am constantly evolving in a spiritual dance of changing the unchanging. and it is definitely not about denying, giving up or hiding .....

As an artist, Changes over the years did happen, changes that does not relate at all to some of the many descriptions and articles you can find of me in the AIDA REDZA sites. It can never define the real Aida, outside her artistic life, and neither can one analyze my character, personality and behavior from my writings in this blog, because our state of mind and being is constantly imaginative layered with many vision and dreams that are full of deep creative meaning, symbolisms and allegory. But what one can decipher is my principles, philosophy and outlook, outreaching life and the world. The sites on google consists many different interpretations of me, and consists of descriptions by others that does not express the total truth about me as an artist, and sometimes even an over 'exaggerated' description of my life. But I am not writing here to convince you of who I am. My purpose today is to correct some information about myself as a performing artist at work, and that does not in total express who I really am as a person, my behavior, conduct, my commitment and responsibilities in my relationship with the people in my life.

And so here it is, in parables, I am still the will of the many ages and periods of the old ancient woman, the unchanging spirit Aida Redza. The past, the present and the future. Believing in one mission through art and life, to build a beautiful mosque to house,protect and serve my family, my loved ones, my children, my nation, others, and my Creator.

But like any other living artist, I too experience challenges, struggles and difficulties. Here is my story, First here, I wish to correct some parts of the article Saidah Rastam (Aida Redza - A Search for Freedom to Explore and Create) wrote in Kakiseni about 4 years ago. It concerns the information of projects I was supposed to do, and work I was supposed to get. It was no fault of Saidah for this but rather, truthfully and nothing to do about it, I never succeeded in getting those position/parts I mentioned I would be doing.

1. I did not get to do the Pontianak movie as the double - part,... who am Ilah???, aiyoh... The discussion between me and the person who contacted me to come for the try-outs did not follow through.
2. The work with Sabri Buang and job in Singapore did not materialize because suddenly I heard that Sabri left the Academy, and began work at Istana Budaya (congratulations to him). I did not contact him after, as I was working towards applying to further my studies in Europe.
3. Me and Arif never continued our proposal and discussions to revive Shakti Dances since after our last performance together at Images of Asia Festival in Copenhagen in August 2003. Infact it should not have been suggested to begin with without the presence of our most important member and best friend patner Judimar Hernandez, as well as the Triple A member, Ala. I cannot really give an explanation, but in truth, I was going through a major realization about my personal life in regards to the troubles in my (previous) marriage and the affect it had on me as an artist.

Before and during marriage, as an artist I found myself struggling to be independent financially, and did not accept that I could not survive on my own 'alternative' artistic income. And like every other working person, trying to survive, l learn to accept many commercial works and as many as I can get that pays to provide reasonably for myself and for my daughter, when we had her. As I don't know how other relationships or marriages work in their arrangement with money or sharing money. I did not have a monthly bank account or shared account like how every other husbands has provided for their wives. And so with no need and desire to demand for monthly security, and to be a part of the working woman community - (which gives women an additional sense of purpose and recognition in their lives), I enjoyed to work in my artistry and of course the more classes I taught, projects, touristic and kementerian sort of work I did, the less concentrated I was in the quality of my own expression and creation. And when we had our daughter I became the home mother artist. A dedicated, proud and stubborn super mother who wanted to be like what other career mothers want to be, to prove that we can do it. I can be the working artist.. and full time house mummy, while working on project to project to earn enough for pocket money to be able to save for the future (which I had no idea since as I mentioned above, we never had an open communication between me and my husband in regards to financial situations, which is one of the reason for our fear towards each other). I wanted to earn the money to help and share with him in providing for myself, my daughter and my parents. I did not have a permanent full time job (as I was reluctant to do so because I was dedicated to raising my daughter), and I was an independent and a part-time artist which made my work schedule different from normal mothers (but it worked well as it gave me flexible time to be with my daughter and to also have her at the studio place) It was fantastic, that I am sure every mother would love to have a flexible career like mine. (As we know in the old days, women/mothers went to the fields, or gather food or do daily chores with their child hanging on their backs - they sing, dance, they cook, they clean, they socialize, they work, together with their children). It was amazing and something to be proud off. Having the children involved and participate daily in the adult's life and busy work activities which Rudolf Steiner calls it the holistic way of raising children, is a very much desired way of family living, by parents all over the world. Which is so lacking in our Malaysian modern day family life style today, where the children is left with their maids or at the babysitters. And some fathers rarely participate in or leave it to the women. The changing, the bathing,the caring when the child is sick, the feeding, the consoling, the emotional bonding andt taking responsibility and more - it does not have to be just the mother's role but it could be shared with the father. I was not going to raise my daughter, like every other family - of those relying entirely on maids, if i had the possibility of not having it like that. We were so fortunate. And i was determine to make myself have all the precious time to raise my daughter, the holistic, naturalistic way, to be aware and sensitive with the world around her, to have love and passion for nature, culture and art, and courage to possess the spiritual and mystical knowledge of the world and of our religion, without fear of (wo)man-made protocols, hierarchies and prejudices. And to believe and have faith in the authentic teachings of the Al-mighty. Like every other mother. And at the same time to find the courage of the woman warrior in our spirit and to be one with the universe, the power of love, courage and compassion. That tingling energy,.....of the woman passion drive - the angin - the shakti/sakti. Call it what you will. That power without being suppressed by materialistic worldly comforts but giving in to the most humble state of sacrificing myself before others and submit to the pure power creation, of God. And I was proud that i had the strength, the confidence and the courage to be a mother with all these visions, as well as a working artist on the side, to face and be challenged by these opportunities, and struggles. I was proud of myself - as I managed it all. I was a successful mother.

But in the inside of my home with my (previous) partner before and during marriage - I found myself silent. My spoken words and expressions in writings and work passion were misinterpreted and used against me. A powerless wife in my own home. As I am unable to say what I have to say for fear of being misunderstood, and was emotionally abused as I was belittled and constantly told that I did not know, or have not been taught or learned enough about the basics of life and religion. I could say that my opinion about life, art, reality and spirituality has matured as I aged during the relationship and marriage, but my realization and enlightenment as a person and as an artist was not something new about me. It was who I was before marriage and the girl I was at 19 while courting and in love, and has been the root and inspirations of my artistry ever since, which was accepted then. If I was wrong before marriage, it was the duty of the husband to be to provide good examples to lead, include and advice, but not criticize and discriminate. And if all fails, it is his will to terminate the relationship.

The fact that I have learned that living existence expressed further in art is a constant evolution of 'creative' offerings and submission to the love and compassion of God as a contribution to living in peace with ourselves and with others. My believes and realizations are not different nor wrong, but in my previous home,... this opinion, values and my appreciations of existence and creativity through art and reality is not respected. And about how i perceive and appreciate the power of life and psychology,the concentration of the body, mind and soul, the passion and joy of acknowledging the light and dark forces created by God and the mystics of nature, and most importantly the freedom of will power,in expressing my work,as a woman warrior artist raising issues of injustice and suppression, is regarded as one who is weak and lacking of faith and belief. In fact my focus of the body as an installation of perfection and ideal representation of God's power,is regarded by my ex-spouse - and by those who do not understand dance/installation - suggesting (I) we are obsessed with (our) their body and only desire to display or show off for the sake of seeking attention and for self interest. So it is our role as artists today to set this wrong perception right.

No matter what and how I practice my art, it does not make me a lesser human in the world I live in, outside my art. And my faith and belief is Between me and God,...Allah and I, and to be shared with others through the medium of life expression and work we chose to. But my instincts told me that I have chosen to live a life where my inner voice, my opinions, my need for open and honest discussion to speak my thoughts, intuition, will and curiosity about the society, the body and the soul in art and reality is not understood, not respected and something to be afraid of as it is considered too over the edge and without any values, and my ambitions will always be considered by my life companion (at that phase of time),... as being always inconsiderate, selfish, mementingkan diri or obsession of the self and immoral. It was disheartening and discouraging that since before and throughout my marriage my words and thoughts are belittled and constantly used by this person I shared my life with, as a weapon against me so as to keep me correct and in place. It has created scars along the way, and the scars got bigger each passing year. And today (even after divorce), we could obviously see how it reflects back on his actual lack of respect towards me as a person, surfacing, when he continues to belittle everything about me, and especially my maternal responsibilities and care for our daughter.

I was unconsciously protesting against becoming the 'wife', whose opinion and thoughts is said to be lacking of knowledge, information and understanding, because he considered that I had 'poor' upbringing. And because of what he regarded (not I)as my 'poor' and 'weak' upbringing, convincing me that I should hang on to him, my messiah, as he is the chosen one, to lead me towards the right way - and so as a young woman at 19 before marriage,I chose to listen to him, as he claims that, i the 'confused one', and he was my saviour. But I could not express my unhappiness openly for fear of disappointing or angering this man. This is not meant as a blame nor a regret or an admission that I was what he said I was. As a young woman infatuated, you want to believe and would give your full trust and life to the person you are deeply in love with. It was how it was, as i considered being, that we were not conscious about how we were emotionally mistreating one another, but today I can say I was emotionally abused, and i take responsibility for my decisions then, and i take responsibility for the decision i made to marry him, and i take responsibility for not convincing him from the very beginning that our relationship can never be a true marriage if we continued to segregate one another with different standards and discriminating views of each other. But I didn't know better then, as love conquered all. And as time goes on, our relationship continued to be build on the basis that he was a responsible provider and a wonderful father, and i am so blessed to have him as the father of my daughter. He gave me and our daughter a comfortable life with everything that he could provide us with before and after marriage, while I was working hard towards the big breaks in my career and being a working mother (like every other modern malay woman today), and he will always provide the financial means when I requested or had to ask him to support me, as in materialistic comfort, as a husband should. And ultimately even in my creative endeavors. And that was that. The materialistic comfort could not replace love and joy of loving. And it was used as security for both of us, so that we will not squabble over our unspoken differences. Eventually when one is in a position of a beggar in one's own home, and totally dependent on their partner,....confusing financial dependance or providing financial needs, in replace for the return of true love,... one is no longer in control of one's own destiny. And the fact that the money kept coming and the house kept growing bigger, and the cars were increasing in 666's, the break-ins, the professional CCTV security system, the lock and the padlocks and the keys to the gates.... the parties, the VIP wannabe's,... the protocols,...I was losing my direction in my own home. I felt like a stranger in my own home. (Of course there were more reasons that were there from the very beginning of the relationship, as my instincts had warned me, such as secrets and life style preferences that were not compatible, and not supposed to be, or should not be. It all added on to the breakdown of the marriage). And it should have been my responsibility to inform and express this difficulties which includes, most importantly my need for respect and to be loved for who I am, and not what I should be or not meant to be, or how I should behave, including the unspoken restrictions to shape me into his ideal image of the 'Malay' woman I am not. I am the proud malay woman that I am capable of being, the Malay infant at birth, as a child, a young malay woman before marriage, and all the Malay woman I can be today. I cannot be more or less than what I am and have been born with.

I didn't know how we let it go on for so long but I stayed on to face the difficulties and difference as a challenge, as the person I was, fighting to make it work. I held on. But he was holding me on a thin rope, from falling over a cliff of transformation, from the frightened girl into the woman who has discovered she needed to speak and tell her true feelings and reclaim the years that was silenced. The marriage was not growing stronger. And so in the early 2002, I had to intervene to make change. I decided to admit that the marriage was not working, and to stop myself from dragging my partner down the cliff with my lack of love, and which I should have done many years before our marriage. But my explanations and my words were rejected and not accepted,or otherwise used against me.

And so it left me with no alternative when words cannot express what i wanted, and so I did what I could best do and knew how. If there is no love for the other, it was not fair to continue, and not right for any one of us, including to our daughter. As the malays says,.. tak ada jodoh. Then one must really make the ultimate decision. We cannot continue begging or forcing each other to stay, or to let go. And so the only way i could solve the situation is to express the best way i can, which was through dance, my art, to go deeper into it as a way to say I want out. My 'dance of life, or ' life dance' of the rebel protesting and a warrior demanding for divorce - I pushed on to change what was not meant to be, with my daughter in my secure arms, for whom I would give my absolute life, to serve with care for the love of God. I continued to dance. Which was then used again as an accusation that I was too busy with my career, to be a responsible mother. I had to evoke the warrior within me to stop this injustice . Which is to continue and continue to fight for my divorce, and it is only fair, that a true gentlemen, should let the wife go, if all love fails. It was very wrong to force things to work, when knowing it has ended, and therefore forcing the other into difficulty, especially when financial considerations and constraints are in question. Most of the time women suffer in situations such as this,... as they cannot move on with life.

It is not something I am proud about, nor regret. But it was a situation that could have been avoided if we had been more open, trusting and respecting each others decisions and differences to begin with. I am sorry it happened but it did, and we cannot turn back time to make it up, but what we can do to make it better for our daughter today, is to move on and together, we make things work the best for her.

It took almost 4 years till 2006, as I continued to be the best mother i can be throughout, and living on my own earnings without the support of the man, as we could not come to terms on a mutual agreement for a divorce. The road to change during that period temporarily affected my work, career, and left me exhausted as an artist. But never did it affect me as a Shakti mother, the ancient will and unchanging spirit because the change was not to run away from the responsibilities as a caregiver to my child, and my existence as a human-a friend, a being to the relations around me, as I mentioned above. It was not to give up my responsibilities or run away in hiding. But instead this decision to change was to awaken and evoke the woman warrior within me ,... the power that was always existing, unchanging. Only hidden and voiceless. To reclaim what is rightfully mine - my will.

Now, Challenged today, I stand stronger and optimistic that life should be a constant successive births of change, that is necessary for a healthy soul and spirit... The soul and spirit of the warrior woman is unchanging,... it just needs to be recharged and reactivated, when it has experienced years of suppression in a wrong environment. Today,... in a new light, Changing the Unchanging, I am a Shakti who dances alone. And I figure Arif, Judi and Ala is too. But that does not mean that it is a lonely trip alone for all. Instead my take on that is the, power I send and share with them alone from afar,... the power of shakti, activating them to move on with their passion drive, and fluidly-ready for intervention, to change, transform, and transcend beyond words,.... with their creativity, will and joy of living. You go Shakti Warriors!!! As for me,... the change has brought me closer to my dream.... and to appreciate the true beauty of God's world and relationships,... so, let me first start by working on the changed itinerary of the arrival of TV 3,... accepting,.... the program,... that is unchanging. So good luck, good wishes, and good life, and I hope to share this experience of changing the unchanging, to all who is in similar situations in their lives, and to reflect on my story as means to build confidence and comfort that there is room for change, and change does not make you a lesser person, but an enlightened person, in fact it empowers you to know that YOU can make a difference to your world,... and all we can do is reach out and strengthen your uncertainties and fears with prayer and dance of support. Peace to all and especially to my family who has always been there for me. Without them I could not have manage through the most challenging period of my life. When in doubt, turn towards Allah - your intuition, and next to your loved ones. They are God's gift.

(TERRITORY - the picture above is a choreography from the Blind Date Project, DU Codarts 2005. Marcela Giesche in Aida Redza's collaboration with Eric Woltemeijer and Esther Drenth)

Ronggeng Merdeka - A detour from EOC

2007-05-21T09:44:00.000-07:00

The choreographic work in Ronggeng Merdeka, right before I left and at the final Sunday of full rehearsal was what it could be in the short one and the half month I had working with the kids. I was given the two last week with the Ronggeng Girls and the men for the final touches of the emergency, kun-kun and the baling talk scenes. I did what I could do, although I was sad that I could not complete the whole project by staying and working with it till the final performance. And to see the overall work with the rest of the children, especially the scenes for the struggle for independence, the tugu, merdeka scene and the celebration. But I guess as a choreographer, I will have to learn to let the work go to the assistants and the performers itself, once its done, its done... I should be satisfied with the general outline of the choreography as much as I had time to do. And as much as I enjoyed working with the kids and adult performers. I could say it was quite a grueling job to get the teaching of the skills, the invention and transfering of ideas and story onto the physical bodies, the actual choreography of the scenes, the throwing out of scenes that failed, the re-constructing of new scenes based on changes and the coordination with music and drama, for me, as a fulltime mother all weekday long, and a choreographer by weekend, was more than I could handle in this trip back to Penang. So Thank you to those who helped me (including James from ASWARA, and Kat and Hee Ling who added and polished the choreography after me)

The performances, I heard have been fantastic, so sorry for those who missed out on the last show last Saturday 16 June. Check it out at http://www.ronggengmerdeka.blogspot.com/. I was told that Maya was at the last show,... and she was enjoying it as she can remember some of the parts of the choreography from seeing it at the rehearsals at USM with me. Especially the kun-kun section. I was almost relieved that her father had brought her to the show, after the awful screaming and almost nasty phone call incident I had with him over the fact that he could not get intouch with Maya, because I was too busy taking her to my rehearsals. Well check the pictures from the performance and you will also see a picture of maya enjoying the show at http://fotokrazy.com/cms/component/option,com_smf/Itemid,26/topic,715.0/

Ronggeng Merdeka was a great detour from my 'hocus-pocus' Urbanshaman project, or my Shakti fight for the woman warrior drive. Of course from parts of the choreography, you can see a little of the woman body type work in the Ronggeng Girls sections,.. screaming to be seen. But otherwise, it was purely an educating and entertaining process of my journey and passion to be involved in a project with kids in a work like Ronggeng Merdeka. Although the theme is very serious, heavy and loaded with information and history, but it was presented in an easy, enjoyable, with brave double meanings messages that is assessible to all ages and race.

I enjoyed my work with both Sooi Beng and Sheau Fung, and of course I am always in awe of janet's intervention strategies to safe the day. So definitely, it is like the old times. Janet, Sooi Beng and I have been working together with children eversince, wow! very long ago, since Teater Muda 1995, we make a good team, and especially now with Sheau Fung leading the Director role,... great working spirit as she tolerated my running in and out of rehearsal to tend to my son marjaan who is being breastfed,... just like maya, when the 3 of us did Red and Gold Shoe. I will always be there for my children.

The pictures above were from the Preview session that the kids had for their parents and some important VIP's. Reminded me of my ex in-laws and their circle of friends. So I tried not to get into their way. Enjoyed wondering like a bird from branch to branch of the tree behind the audiences. Moving along, we can see that the children in Penang are keen for a Creative program such as this. So hooray for Janet, Sooi Beng, Sheau Fung and team of Anak-Anak Kota and Ombak-Ombak of course for running and producing the show. Congratulations! and we want more!!!. So, Aida thumbs up for you. Let's hope experiences like this can give me more possibilities to work with children everywhere in the world. Unfortunately, in Denmark,.... when I applied to work with the kids in school, they inform me that I do not have enough experience with children. Sad huh? But its fine. I love working with my 'lahs', and my ability to scream like gila any way I want, without feeling like people are gonna send the police any minute to watch and question aida (the foreigner) for being verbally abusive to kids.(So Maya's father is not the only one, so paranoid). Janet will never survive here. Ta!

Preparing the Dance Day Wall

2007-05-06T09:55:00.000-07:00

Hitori (a Japanese Sculpturer friend/with his wife Machiko who is an Ikebana artist living in Penang) proposed almost enthusiastically a project of creating a performative dance-body sculpture on a Clay wall. The moment I arrived at Kat's and Kenny's Chinese New Year open house party held at the Tropical Spice Garden mid-February this year, Hitori was overwhelmed with this brilliant intuition . I immediately jumped on the idea, as I was desperately wanting to gear myself and conjure up the 'UrbanShaman' within me to 'Move' again. It has been almost a year since I last uncaged and open my senses, and free my intuition and instincts to smell and taste the passion of creativity. I excitedly swallowed the idea,... waiting for the right timing to execute the process. I was enjoying the thought of having the luxury of time and space, and no worries of rushing to meet a dateline to create this work. Just to enjoy pondering and letting my imagination run free on ideas of working with clay-earth-soil again was almost too good to be true. Coincidentally, I was invited to be interviewed by 8TV in a program entitled Dare to Dream- a discussion between Mentor and the Mentee,... and as spontaneous as Hitori's proposal, I agreed to do the shooting of the program on a strategic day such as the International Dance Day on Sunday 29 April which is an official day announced by the International Council of Dance - UNESCO in Paris. It is too much to dream for. This is the kind of work and process that I am interested and would like to dedicate my talent and expertise in. An experimental artistic outdoor/field work process which is initiated and arranged in order to fulfill or support a possible social or humanistic awareness event. Of course it would have been better if the process could receive some funds to be donated to such cause. But that is the next development in the objectives of the UrbanShaman, to create works for such purpose. The clay used was sponsored by the Gardenku - Asian Pottery. Hitori, Machiko, Okamoto-san, his wife and Lee the Manager of the Gardenku began laying out the clay, as early as 8.30 am that morning. TV 8 crew, James (the Mentee) and I (the Mentor), joined to help at 10, as it began to rain heavily between 9.15 - 10. We completed the wall at about 12.30 in the afternoon, and we waited an hour for it to dry and harden a little more. The performance began at about 1.20. It was hard work, but fun at the same time, as we were all involved in slapping the clay hard on the ground to make it flat. The squat position we were in the whole half of the morning, gave some of us tensed muscle along the inner thigh the very next day. Part of the training process of EOC - is to get down and do hard labour work - a work that is done daily as a living activity that expresses the workmanship, creation and vision of the creator. This time the work is as simple as laying clay on the floor to relearn our inner body patterning, connectivity and relationship with the clay and the surroundings , and at the same time, calling and awakening our core and breath to be in oneness with our senses. Smell, touch, hear,sight, working to the rythmn of the effort we were producing to mold the clay. A bodily process of negotiation and intervening with conscious time and metaphoric time, with real time and time of nature,... existing in the moment. It was extreme joy.

Dare to Dream - View into 8 TV session in Penang.

2007-05-06T09:38:00.000-07:00

Pictures taken from the first day meeting with James, in the program Dare to Dream - Mentor and the Mentee series by 8 TV taken at the end of April.

Project EOC 3 - April 29, 2007

2007-05-05T08:12:00.000-07:00

I feel rather awkward to begin scribbling my work on the journey of UrbanShaman on the Move-Expedition OpenCage at year 3 in 2007 again, as i actually began developing it initially as a research project for my Post-Graduate Dance Unlimited studies at Codarts, Rotterdam in Aug 2004. The Project took a short break between March 2006 -March 2007, to enable me to welcome the arrival of little Marjaan(the pearl), into the world,...and concurrently to resolve a long, tiring and exhausting conflict I was facing with the father of my daughter Maya Ellora Syauquina - (means longing for the goddess of illusion). The trouble I was having in resolving the custody agreement of Maya was a catastrophe that placed my existence as an artist on a standstill, and my life as a mother in a state of emergency.

Now that I have passed that difficult period of my life,..with a 50% success. It is not the most ideal condition, but The UrbanShaman has decided to Move on, and not waste spirit and energy on past clashes and collisions, but rather focussing on the Move as an act of ritualizing, healing, educating and at the same time entertaining the soul.

So here I am, today, officially announcing 29 April, as the day the UrbanShaman journeys into the 3rd year of EOC research project again. And for those who does not know what is EOC all about. I will fill you in with information as we go along in my day to day postings.

Aida in the blog

2007-04-26T00:46:00.001-07:00

Hello people, Aida in the house.